13 Places I've lived.

1)Calgary (twice)

2)Canmore

3)Slave Lake

4)Whitecourt (horid,horid place)

5)Ottawa

6)Brighton (twice)

7)Belleville

8)Brockville (2 or 3 times...I think)

9)Prescott (Have you ever had a pizza complete with shad flies)

10)Kingston (K-Town baby!)

11)Wilton (cheese factory has awesome squeeky cheese curds)

12) Harlowe (where your mom's your dad and your dad's your brother)

13)Lyn

My Mini Road Trip

So yesterday I had to drive to Brockville. My co-worker who usually works at that office was still feeling a bit sick and couldn't go. Her head was feeling a bit foggy and that doesn't make for good driving. (She's pregnant and we don't want her taking any chances) So my boss loaned me her car to get to Brockville. Sounds easy enough right?

Wrong!

I work downtown Kingston, so I figure the quickest way would be to go over the scarey bridge and take the next exit to the 401. I say scarey bridge...mainly because I have this irrational fear of driving on bridges over water. But it's also a metal grate bridge that lifts for boats to pass under. So when you're driving over the bridge, it's REALLY noisy. I usually like to open my window when driving on a bridge over water. You never know...the bridge could malfunction and swallow my car up and drown me while trapped in the car!

Anyways...

I took the turn off that I swore said '401 this way'. So I'm driving.....and driving...and driving...going through construction...driving some more...crap! there is farm land around me! I haven't seen any signs advertising the 401! Am I going to Smith Falls? Where am I going? I don't have a map and I don't know where in the world I am heading!!! Red neck country? Are there inbreeders??? So I decided to play it safe...I turn around and go back the way I came. Back through the construction and turn left onto #2 highway. I look at the other side of the road...and it points to the direction I just came from and says '401 this way'. BLOODY HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Screw it! I'm just going to go on hwy 2 until I come to the next cut off. I get trapped behind a stinkin' yellow bus. Putt...putt...putt...putt. Dude...gas is the peddle on the right. Do the flamin' speed limit!!!! Then the bus turns off and I get some truck with a trailer attached to it's behind. Trees laying in the back of the trailer were waving at me...taunting me! Lucky I didn't have a chain saw! This guy isn't doing the speed limit either. I AM LATE!!!! I decide to pass.....

I'm going over 100 .... slightly over the speed limit of 80. I'm on the opposite side of the road...

I see a sign ... '401 this way'.

CRAP!

Slam on the brakes!!! SCREEEEEEEECH!!! Turn the corner....mad woman on the loose boys! I just barely made that turn. I thought I would end up in that farmers field. Driving by farmland again...but I don't care...I'm driving until I find that stinkin 401 hwy. Finally I find it. WOOO HOOOOO!!!!! Now I know where I'm going. I thought that would be the end of my adventures for the day.

Um no...

I get to the office and decide to go pee before I open the office. Especially knowing the size of my bladder. (Let's just say it's small) I start to unbutton my pants....

PING....

My button goes flying and hits the opposite wall. You have got to be kidding me!!!!!!!! It's a good thing my pants had an inside button as backup. Thank you Mr. designer man!

Oh yeah, by the way...on my return travel, I decided to take the exit that I had screwed up so badly. That would be the 1st one that I couldn't find. Turns out I was only 1 1/2 minutes away from the 401 on my original trip.

Oh well,

I know for next time.

My Bosses 50th Birthday

Everyone in our office loves 'The Amazing Race', including my boss Cathy. So for her 50th birthday, her family & friends had a suprise for her. To mark this momentous occasion she was suprise with 'Cathy's Amazing Race'. This was of course a complete suprise to Cathy. Just after lunch, her children, best friend and a large handful of friends; kidnapped her from work. She was totally shocked! She was escorted around in a convertible with posters attached to the sides announcing her birthday and her desire to party till the cows come home. Her race was as follows:

1)Drive to the local Radio Station (K-Rock) and announce her 50th birthday on air.

2)Cathy was taken to the Gananoque Casisno and given $5.00. In order to get her next clue she had to double her money on the nickle slot machines. (she's good at this)

3)Next clue takes us to Regiopolis Catholic School. Cathy's daughter is a teacher there and used to be on a cheerleading squad. So the cheerleading squead agreed to a little performance. Cathy had to name the moves that the cheerleaders were doing in order to get her next clue.

4)This pit stop is located at Sizzle (restaurant/bar). Her task here is to learn how to make a drink from the bartender. It has to meet the bartenders ok, before she is allowed the rest. (rest = sit down and have some drinks)

5)Off to Chapters. Cathy belongs to a book club. The next clue would be in one of the books that she has read from the book club. You would think this would take a while..checking all those different books. Right? Wrong! She found the clue in the first book she opened. Talk about a horseshoe up her butt.

6)On to Petcetera to find someone she knows that has her next clue. This person just happened to be her dog Buffy.

7)Had to take Buffy home. Then off to her suprise party at Raxx bar & grill.

What an awesome way to celebrate your 50th! The only thing it was missing was BJ & Tyler.

Another Funny

Four men went golfing one day : three headed to the first tee and one went into the club house to take care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons.

The first man told the others, " My son is a home builder and he's so successful that he gave a friend a new home - - for free."

The second man said, "My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend two Cadillacs."

The third man, not wanting to be outdone bragged, "My son is a stock brocker and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio.

The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?" The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay. I'm not totally thrilled about it, but he must be good. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, two cars, and a stock portfolio."

Don't Underestimate Blondes

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy-efficient kinds. Yesterday, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining about the windows he had installed a whole year ago and I had never paid for them yet.

Hellloooo? Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am stupid. So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking sale guy had told ME last year... namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo"? (I told him). "It's been a year"!

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.... He hasn't called back, probably too embarrassed about forgetting the guarantee they made me.

Bet he won't underestimate a blond anymore. Duh!

Pepper

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, and then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, and then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you ok?"

"I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"

The woman nodded, "Pepper."

Thirteen Things I Love About Travel

1)Time off work.

2)Experiencing new Cultures.

3)Trying different foods. Things that you would probably never try at home, like Morroccan Chicken Tagine. Or maybe things that you can't find in your home town. Like fresh, Italian pizza. Completely different than what you get in North America. The Italian pizza is very basic yet has SO much more flavor!

4)The feeling of being alive (travel seems to inspire that)

5)The museums. The Vatican museum, Louvre, Royal Ontario Museum, Petrie museum, British museum, Hermitage, etc. So much to choose from.

6)Visiting World famous Art Galleries. Europe if full of Renaissance art, which is my favorit.

7)The Man-made attractions (Eiffel tower, Roman Forum, Cathedrals, etc.)

8)The natural beauty of each country. Mountains, meadows, oceans, rivers, hoodoos,etc. It's all beautiful.

9)The casual pace. It seems that only on vacation people take the time to just slow themselves down,listen, and watch. Listening to the Caribbean frogs that sound like metallic crickets or hearing the breeze rustling the leaves on the trees. Taking the time to people watch. Or at night watching the reflections of the city lights and the moonlight dancing on the water. The fresh scent of lilac's floating gently on a sultry breeze.

10)The male scenery. It's always fun dating in foreign countries. Act as crazy as you want on a date...and it won't get back to your local 'grape vine'. Plus if he does think you're crazy...at least you won't have to see him again.

11)The souveniers & trinkets. It's like having a piece of the country in your home. A colorful wooden lizard hanging on the wall, a Venetian mask, Papyrus from Egypt.

12)Travelling with family/friends. It can bring you closer together. One of my favorite trips was to Mexico with my mother. It gave us time to bond and get to know each other better. Memories that will link us together. (I'm definately looking forward to the cruise with my sister, her husband & my best friend!!)

13)The memories. Something that can never be taken away. Yours to keep forever!

What a HUGE relief!!

Yes, I am a huge fan of the Amazing Race. (except for the stupid family edition) Last night's episode was a very tense one. My throat still hurts from screaming. Yay for the older couple, who finally managed to come in first! (I still think it should have been BJ & Tyler..but anyhoo) How beautiful was that first camel??!! I think she was gorgeous and should be named Princess. Bloody frat boys banged her elbow...I wish 'Princess' could and would have kicked them for that. Yes, I know I get off topic easily.

The last bit was so frustrating. I was sure that the Hippies would be last. Poor BJ just had no luck, but the sweetie Tyler was still encouraging him and not yelling. (Cudo's for that) So it's down to the last 45 seconds...the stupid, rude frat boys are in lost. (YAY!) And the hippies are on their way to the check-in point. Imagine my shock & horror when the stinkin' frat boys were the ones to check in first. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keri and I both scream at the same time! BLOODY WANKERS!!!!!

And then BJ & Tyler come in .....last. :( I was so sure that they would be eliminated. Imagine my joy when Phil said that it was a non-elimination round!! Keri and I were yelling our approval and relief. (I'm sure my neighbours were annoyed...but I don't like them...so poo on them)

I've discovered something about myself that is quite scarey. But you need to understand something about me. A) I don't like blonde, red, or even strawberry hair on men...brown or black is a must. B) I prefer Italians. C)I like men who wear normal clothes.
Imagine my suprise when watching Amazing race, and I realized that I no longer find the nipple pierced frat boy attractive. Rather the opposite reaction now...I find him ugly thanks to his personality. The sight of him makes me want to smack him upside the head. Imagine my even BIGGER suprise, when I discovered that I'm starting to find Tyler attractive! ME????? He's sweet, funny, weird, supportive, respectful and encourages his friend even when I'm sure he wants to yell instead. I would totally date him! What is happening to me?? Is this maturity???? Totally weird man!

Which leader are you?

I'm not sure how I managed this one!!
Sexual options?? I think this test had a flaw...because that doesn't sound like me. Thrill seeker yes...slutty...no.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Monday Memories

I was living in Wilton, Ontario. It's a minature version of a village. Blink and it's gone kind of place. But it has a amazing cheese factory that sells the most amazing squeaky cheese curds. We had a big dog named Spanky. At least I think he was big. I was a kid...so maybe he just seemed really big. It could have been a medium sized dog for all I know. However, I am POSITIVE that it was NOT a chihuahua sized dog! Anyways, I was a rather mean child. I liked to mercilessly tease this poor pooch.

I would tease, and tease and tease some more. Then Spanky would jump onto me and push me over.

I can still hear my sister's words ringing in my ears, while calling for my dad..my rescuer.

DAAAADDDDD!!!! SPANKY'S STANDING ON TAMMY AGAIN!!

Well....

I suppose I deserved it.

Peanut Butter Not So Yummies

I like peanut butter ... and ... I like rice krispie squares. So I like to mix some peanut butter into the melting margarine when making rice krispie squares. Very Yummy. My sister loves these! (so does everyone I make them for) So for Easter dinner, I told her I would bring some squares for her. Made everything as per my version of the recipe. Which has ALWAYS turned out. That is, at least until this weekend. I had some extra marshmellows in the pantry. So I decided to add them to make the rice krispies extra chewy. However, the extra marshmellows were going a bit stale. I figured if I melted them, it wouldn't matter. Apparently it DOES matter. I could have sold these rice krispies as weapons! Holy hard batman! My sister still ate two of them. I'm not sure how in the world she swallowed them. Probably with a ton of saliva and a jaw of steel. Kim...remind me never to tell you to 'bite me' again.

What Color is Your Lucky Underwear?

Your Lucky Underwear is Blue

You are caring and extroverted. You've made relationships your number one focus, and your lucky blue underwear can bring some balance to them. You thrive in one-on-one situations. You are a good listener and a natural born therapist. Sometimes you let the concerns of others become too important in your life, leading to stress and worry. If you want more balance, put on your blue underpants. They'll help you take care of yourself first.

What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?

OUCH!

Ok. So I'm doing pretty lousy at this weight loss thing. And boy, do I mean lousy! But I'm still not giving up. When I lost weight the first time, I did a lot of strength training. So I decided that I was going to try to do that. So on Sunday, I decided to do the lower body and my abs. You are supposed to do 3 sets of each exercise. (not to be confused with reps) I remember this being a LOT easier!!! I only managed to do 2 sets of the lower body....and only 1/2 of the exercises. And for the abs, I did all the exercises...but only 1 rep. I sure remember this being a lot easier! Needless to say...yesterday I was walking around and feeling muscles that I forgot I owned. Do I really have muscles in my inner thighs and down by my kneecaps??? Muscle in my hips??? Who would have thought! I guess I must...because they all ache. And my stomach......

I love laughing....and it hurt yesterday to laugh. I had to throw things at my co-worker because she kept making me laugh. What a little brat! She thought it was quite funny. Which it is of course...but I'm not about to tell her that.

So tonight I'll try to do some more of that 'strength' training. Maybe by next month, I'll be able to wrestle my chihuahua and win 8)

I've been thinking ... if I ever get 'in the money', I'll definately get a personal trainer. Male of course. At least I'll be guaranteed some pleasant scenery while working out. Maybe even that cutie marine/navy guy with the form-fitting pants I saw yesterday. hmmm. It definately makes a girl think. ;)

Word Associations

Desire :: want
Sleep :: deprivation
Lost :: found
2006 :: 30
Pump :: hump
Space :: hog
Stuck :: mud Reference:: books
Birth:: day
Hand:: finger

Who's Your Daddy?

Your Daddy Is Johnny Depp

What You Call Him: Old Man Why You Love Him: He gives good spankings

Who's Your Daddy?

Mmmmmmmmm, Yes PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Kind of a Seducer Are You?

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it. That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power! The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Personality Quiz ....

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF) You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test