This One's For You Sis....

My sister say's she's waiting for the day I put something *ahem* personal on my blog. So here it is. I've started the process of looking to buy a house. And for some reason. When ever I think about buying a house, I get the nervous bladder. I'm nervous which means I think I have to pee, when I really don't. That, and to top it all off ... I'm horny. Just for no reason. I don't have to have a reason, I don't ever need to be thinking about sex or a hot guy. Just out of the blue my body starts 'humming'. Is this normal?? Really ... is it? I can be cleaning windows, or eating pizza, reading a book, playing video games and then my body just starts 'humming' and it also happens at work ... quite often. Do you know how hard it is to concentrate when you are so unbelievably horny you think your head is about to explode?????? Do you???? To bad we can't have vibrator brakes instead of coffee breaks.

TMI? Sorry.

Itchy, Itchy

So it's winter, which means it's dry out. Usually I get a little patch of eczema on the inside of my elbows. Not this year. This year I have it on my calves, by my ankle, my hips, stomach and my most favorite...my boobs. I don't mean the creamy, milky white mound part. I mean the aerole and my nipples. Have you ever had eczema on your nipples?????????? Oh my goodness! I want to scratch my skin off...but can't because... 'Hello?!!' Nipples are pretty sensitive!

Aaargh! Must ... not ... scratch!

I feel like crying...

I'm feeling so lousy today. You know how people have fat days? Well I don't feel fat today, I feel absolutely monstrous!! Not fat, huge, or ginormous ... but overwhelmingly MONSTROUS!I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. I try to avoid looking at myself in the mirror because I hate what I see. I feel like no one is never going to love me or find me beautiful. Of course I've been told I'm beautiful ... but I want someone to say it and mean it. I don't want someone...as in a man.. to say I'm beautiful because that's what he thinks I want/need to hear or because he thinks it'll help him try and get me into bed. I want someone to mean it.
I felt bad enough this morning. I weighed myself and now I'm only down 6 pounds instead of 8. So how do I fix it?? Well the logical thing to do is be more strict and maybe up the exercise to 1 hour instead of my now 40 minute workout. Instead I had 2 ... yes, 2 peanut butter squares. why? I guess food has been my comfort. It can't talk back to me and it's always there. How pathetic is that?! The funny/pathetic thing is that I didn't really enjoy them, they are super sweet and have too much chocolate on them. I feel even worse after having them. I just ate a countless amount of calories, eating something I didn't really enjoy. So I sit here feeling like a monstrous, ugly, pathetic, unloveable fattie. It's a good day.

Crazy people surround me..

Oops...sorry that is fellow Canadians. A crazy man just ran by our office window. I say crazy because he was jogging .... and wearing shorts and a T-Shirt.

... It's -29C with the windchill.

The easiest way to describe that to my cyber friends in the nice warm south .... DAMN COLD!! People can freeze to death in this weather and that nutbar is wearing shorts. **shaking head**

People think I'm crazy? Ok, so I've worn a bathing suit in the middle of winter, but that was at the hot springs and it's hard to freeze when you're in the hot water. Ok...so I also sun tanned on the cement because I was so hot. But when you cool down, you get back in the hot water until you're ready to boil and then go sun tan again. (It's supposed to be healthy, like the sauna then the cold water swim thing)

Hmm, Never mind...

I guess I AM a bit crazy ... just not as crazy as shorts boy.

My Second Appointment

So last night, I had my 2nd appointment with the dietician. I was nervous about going back! Especially since last week I totally ate like a hog. I was sick so didn't bother eating healthy and by the time the weekend came around I felt like crap! I guess my body is getting used to this eating healthy thing and kinda rebelled when I fed it junk food...and a LOT of it. Let's see...pizza, cheesy bread, chicken kickers, those cupcakes with the icing in the middle, danishes, 2 bean & cheese burritos ...I didn't eat all of this at the same time. But I did eat it all within 5 days. Man I felt bad. So I confessed to the dietician that I had not been eating how I should. Ok, confessed some of it. I just summed it all up as 'a bunch of junk food'. Plus I didn't exercise from Wednesday to Sunday, so I felt extra unhealthy. I told my dietician 'C' about the lack of exercise. I was expecting to get scolded or a look or something. She told me she was impressed. I'm pretty sure I had the 'huh?' look on my face. So I again tell her, I didn't eat like I was supposed to and didn't exercise everyday. So, I guess she didn't expect me to do amazingly. She told me not to beat myself up. I'm back on track and that's what counts. Her goal for me was to exercise 10 minutes/day for at least 3 days/week. My first 2 weeks I exercised 20 min every day and 3rd/4th weeks it was 30 min/day for everyday except that Wednesday-Sunday stretch. I think 'C' is most impressed that I get up so early in the morning to fit in the exercise.

Sorry guys..I'm sure this is exciting for you ..but I'm still writing it.

First week on weightwatchers I lost 4 pounds. Then I went to the dietician and changed the way I was eating again. I've been trying to mix the dieticians recommendations along with the weight watchers program. So needless to say I was SOOOO frustrated the 2nd week when I melded the 2 together and gained 2 pounds. I followed the program faithfully, plus I felt hungry the whole time and wanted to scream & cry & have a tantrum like a little baby because I was always feeling hungry plus I had gained that weight. When you're trying to lose weight...gaining 2 pounds is horrid!! It usually takes me 2 weeks to lose that amount of weight. But I'm doing better this week. I've lost a total of 8 pounds...it seems rather pitiful to me to lose only that amount in 5 weeks. But I have only myself to blame. I didn't have to eat the pizza, cheesy bread, danishes, cupcakes, a yummy & delicious beavertail, etc. But I guess there's no sense in beating myself up. I'm back on the bandwagon and I may not be perfect and may mess up everynow and then but I'm committed to getting healthy. It's going to take time to lose this weight and get healthy...but I guess anything worthwhile is worth the working towards.

So my goal is to lose a total of 25lbs by my birthday. That's July 7th. So wish me luck. I'm going to need it because that pizza & chocolate keep calling my name! LOL...mmm, chocolate...

10 Things that make me shake my head...

1) I have to start with this one...because it just happened. Young people (usually of the male persuasion) drive around with their windows open with music blaring. I think they think that they look cool. But us adults know that they just look STUPID!! A guy just did this, the window was cracked a good 10 inches on the passenger side...with no passenger...It's -15C with windchill...and that's before you're driving 60km/hr. mmmm k. Idjit!

2) Wearing socks with sandals

3) Thongs sticking way above a girls ultra-low rise pants. Come on! Have some class...it just makes you look like a trashy ho

4) My dogs who like to switch bowls half-way through their meal, even if they are eating the same thing. (but oh so cute)

5) Marilyn Manson

6) George Bush (sorry, my lovely American readers)

7) My sister and her Madonna fetish

8) My sister and her collection of pj's.

9) Men. They think we're complicated?? Sometimes they're worse! (especially the white boys)

10) Kids who smoke because they think they look cool. I've seen 8 year olds smoke...they can't figure it out when I take one look at them and burst out laughing. Hint, hint, I'm not laughing with you, I'm laughing AT you...cause you look like an IDIOT! So you look dumb, have bad smokers breath and stink of nicotine. Shaking my head right now. (sorry to the adult smokers) I bet that's what people thought when they saw me smoking at the ripe age of 12. I now know they were right. :)