Dare I ask??

I figure either it was a tackle gone bad .... or they're checking for hemorrhoids.


Either way...I think it'd be quite embarassing for the guy with his shorts down.

Breakfast Quiz

In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of Fruits on it.
They are:

a. Apple
b. Banana
c. Strawberry
d. Peach
e. Orange

Which fruit will you choose? Please think VERY carefully and don't rush into it. This is great, I was astounded! Your choice reveals a lot about you!



THE ANSWERS



a. Apple: That means you are a person who loves to eat apples
b. Banana: That means you are a person who loves to eat bananas
c. Strawberry: That means you are a person who loves to eat strawberries
d. Peach: That means you are a person who loves to eat peaches
e. Orange: That means you are a person who loves to eat oranges
 

I hope you find fulfillment in this new insight about yourself. May it bring you peace and understanding, tranquility and all that other profound stuff.


Also I bet that right now you would like to find me and kick my butt.
Well, You won't find me....because I am still hunting down the person who sent this to me...

Weekend Update.

So yes it was my birthday weekend. I should clarify some things. The birds I killed...one rebounded off the truck in front of me and then hit me. So technically, I put the poor thing out of it's misery. The second bird...it was horrible!! It decided to take off, just as I was driving by. It flew down just below my hood. I didn't hear a thud..so I thought & was very relieved to think I hadn't killed another bird. Then a second later...the bird flew up over my hood, or rather bits of it and a few loose feathers. I felt sick to my stomach! I'm a bird killer!!! I don't want to be a bird killer!! A spider killer, yes, bird killer no!
It was SOOOO horrible!!!!!!

As for the going the wrong way, down a one way street. In my defense, it was a 2 way to start. Then there was an intersection, and then it apparently went to a one way street. There were no one way signs. Does Quebec not use one way signs?? Thankfully there was a place to turn around.

For the parking lot...I don't have much of a defense on that one. There was construction so they had to reroute everyone. So we're going around and around...and frankly, I was getting dizzy. But the next cement support was somehow in my blindspot. I almost hit it. No excuse on that one...I should have seen it at some point. Maybe I should give the car up and take the bus. Ya think??



Good Things About My Birthday

'Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest' came out on my birthday. That's one heck of a gift. Johnny Depp and a scruffy, long haired Orlando Bloom? Can't really beat that. Unless it's the scene where they rip Orlando's shirt off his back..and they whip him ...so his back is arched and head is back with eyes closed. mmmmmmmmmm...yummy. Now I see why my best friend finds him so attractive.

Italy won the world cup!

I got to spend lots of time with my family..play games and hang out. They all put together a blessings box for me. I was pretty depressed about turning 30. So they put a bunch of comments in a pretty box for me to look at when I get depressed. Then that will cheer me up. Things like... I've never been abducted by aliens, I have the best brother-in-law(gee, I wonder who wrote that one?), I have a car, I've travelled to exotic locations, a family who loves me...etc. I've already thought of a few things to add. I've never had rabies, George W. Bush doesn't run my country, I've never been attacked by cannibals, Italy won the world cup for my birthday. I need to think of some other ones. But at least it's a start. I think the blessings box was a pretty cool idea. There were 30 blessings, for my 30 years of life.

I got to go to the Museum of Civilizations. It was myself, my mom and my best friend. First after my mom peeing 3 times in 7 minutes, (people say I have a small bladder??) we went to the childrens section. That was a lot of fun. I like playing..and apparently so does my mom. I got to be a mummy, and drive a truck in Pakistan...I even got to play with the crane! Crane, as in pick up some parcels with the big crane off the ship and then place them on dry ground. I was the only adult doing it. I had a line up of kids behind me. Those kids sure know how to wheel and deal! I had to make a deal with the kid behind me so I could use the stinkin' crane! But I got to play so that fun. I also got to see the new 'Petra' exhibit. That was amazing. I'd love to go there. Just a tip for people. If you want to take your children to the museum...don't let them run around screaming in the exhibit rooms! In the children's section is one thing...but when adults are trying to watch a movie about the special exhibit..or read the write ups on the exhibits...please keep you kid quiet, or kindly remove them from the exhibit. I just think it's rude to have your child running around screaming while paying adults have come to an exhibit. It just ruins it for everyone. Yes, I am getting old and grumpy.

All in all, it was a great brithday weekend. I'm not too depressed anymore..I figure, I'm 30 and there isn't anything I can do about it. That, totally sucks!

Can I pretend I'm still 29?

Birthday Girl

This past weekend was my birthday weekend. To be more exact..Friday was my birthday. I think it is either the start to a very scarey year...or perhaps very scarey decade.

By Saturday...I had:

*Killed 2 birds with my car
*Gone the wrong way down a one way street
*Almost hit a big cement support in the mall parking lot.

I think the rest of the world may want to watch out!! Be very, very scared!!

Plus I wore the "It's my birthday..Wanna Spank Me?" pin all day on Friday...and I didn't get spanked by one stranger!! Weird North Americans! If I had been in Italy...I'm almost positive my bottom would be sore with all the slaps to by booty.

The pin btw was from my best friends mother. I think she knows me too well. My best friend was a bit embarrassed because I wore it to the museum, and to a poshish restaurant, the grocery store, gas station and to the movie theatre. I think I'll have to wear that pin on every birthday from now on.

I guess they don't call it the dirty 30's for nothing :D

YAAAAAAAAAAA BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As most of the world knows, Italy (the best & hottest team ever) has won the World Cup. I'm like a proud momma. My team won! Now if only I could have been in Rome when the team came home. Now that would have been awesome!!!

Good way for Zidane to go out though. Just proving to the world what a shmuck he is. What an excellent note to end your career on. People were suprised he head butted an Italian player in the chest?? Does no one remember him stomping on the back of a Saudi Arabian?? He's just not a very nice person, and seriously lacks good sportsmanship.

But back to my Italian team...We're all SOOO proud of you! You played awesome and what stamina.....

I'm definately looking forward to the European cup...and only another 4 years to go until the next World Cup. I've started counting down already.

Ben Stein & Anne Graham

I just had to post this...I beleive what this says whole heartedly. This is an email I received and I felt the need to share it.
___________________________________________________________

If they know of him at all, many folks think Ben
Stein is just a quirky actor/comedian who talks in a
monotone. He's also a very intelligent attorney who
knows how to put ideas and words together in such a
way as to sway juries and make people think clearly.
The following was written by Ben Stein and recited
by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary, Sunday,
12/18/05.

Herewith at this happy time of year, a few
confessions from my beating heart: I have no
freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them
on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am
buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask
the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know
who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will
it change my life if I know who they are and why
they have broken up? Why are they so important?

I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do
not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.

Am I going to be called before a Senate committee
and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just
have no clue who Nick and Jessica are.

If this is what it means to be no longer young.
It's not so bad.

Next confession:
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors
was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little
bit when people call those beautiful lit up,
bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel
threatened. I don't feel discriminated against.
That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry
Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting
me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact,
I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers
and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It
doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger
scene on display at a key intersection near my beach
house in Malibu. If people want a crèche, it's
just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred
yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a
Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting
pushed around for being Christians. I think people
who believe in God are sick and tired of getting
pushed around, period. I have no idea where the
concept came from that America is an explicitly
atheist country. I can't find it in the
Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down
my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the
idea come from that we should worship Nick and
Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we
understand Him?

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too.

But there are a lot of us who are wondering where
Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we
knew went to.

___________________________________________________

In light of the many jokes we send to one another
for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not
intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended
to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the
Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God
let something like this Happen?" (regarding Katrina)

Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and
insightful response. She said, "I believe God is
deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for
years we've been telling God to get out of our
schools, to get out of our government and to get out
of our lives.

And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has
calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us
His blessing and His protection if we demand He
leave us alone?"

In light of recent events...terrorists attack,
school shootings, etc. I think it started when
Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body
found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in
our schools, and we said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in
school . the Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou
shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself.
And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank
our children when they misbehave because their
little personalities would be warped and we might
damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed
suicide). We said an expert should know what he's
talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have
no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong,
and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers,
their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard
enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a
great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and
then wonder why the world's going to hell.

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but
question what the Bible says.

Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and
they spread like wildfire but when you start sending
messages regarding the Lord, people think twice
about sharing.

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles
pass freely through cyberspace, but public
discussion of God is suppressed in the school and
workplace.

Are you laughing?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will
not send it to many on your address list because
you're not sure what they believe, or what they will
think of you for sending it.