balshy-brooklyn

?????

2009-02-26T12:25:00.005-05:00

Hmmm. So I know that no one reads this blog ... which is TOTALLY ok. Understandable since I haven't written anything in almost 2 years. I've just got so many things floating around in my head and I just can't seem to make any sense of it. My father walked out on my mother in July and in essence walked out on his children & grandchildren. At least that's how it felt. We've now been communicating since just before Christmas. So our relationship is a work in progress. But my whole world is my family. It was like my whole world was turned upside down and nothing seemed to make any sense. So when my family as I know it changed ... it has brought and is still bringing up so many things from the past. Things I thought I had long buried. Things that I don't want to remember or think about. Behaviours that I have purposely forgotten why I behave that way. I'm too lazy to write this down in a journal and typing seems to be a bit faster. So I guess this is where I'm going to try and figure myself out. Plus is no one reads this ... and no one knows who I am ... it's all good.

I've been so close to tears so often in the past 7 months. It's not just my father's fault. I've started going back to church. And it's like God is showing me all kinds of things that I purposely turn a blind eye to, because I don't want to see it. Something I've discovered is that I hate emotion. I hate feeling. I allow myself to laugh and allow anger and lust .. but that's it. I have a real problem with love & friendship and letting people in. The only people who are close to me are either in my immediate family or someone who has fouhgt to make me allow them in. Pretty dumb isn't it??!! I don't want anyone close to me. I don't want anyone to know me. I don't want anyone to love me. I learned from an early age that people leave. You move or they move or they just get sick of you, but everyone leaves in the end. I got tired of being hurt. Putting up the walls was the best form of defence. You can't get hurt if you don't let anyone hurt. I once read that someone can only hurt you if you allow it to happen. Which is totally true. (unless we are talking about physical hurt ... but that is a completely different matter) The only problem with that is now I don't know how to let people in. I purposely push people away ... I push their buttons so that they'll confirm my distrust of people. That is something I just figured out about myself at the ripe age of 32. Man, am I SLOW!!! But it's not the other peoples fault since I am purposely trying to push them away. They are just obliging me. Don't get me wrong, I know there are people who will hurt you no matter what. Even if you are as sweet as pie. How much is too much self preservation??? Where do I draw the line?? How far should I let people in?? How do I stop being so messed up??

Would Yoda know the answers?? Better question still .... would I even understand what in the world Yoda was saying!! :-)

Ok .. enough thoughts for 1 day.

Renovations ... Day 3?

2007-05-04T13:17:00.000-04:00

Not much to say. We were there for about 2 hours, but it feels like we accomplished NOTHING! We had to try and get the last few spots of wallpaper that are stuck to the wall like glue. We didn't fully accomplish that. Keri was awesome and put a new toilet seat on the toilet. She deserves a medal!! It was nasty! Crusty pee all over the toilet, and some brown spots. (dry heaves..) But I am so thankful to her...because I had to pee, but I wasn't about to pee on the toilet seat the last occupants left. I could have gotten some type of disease. Then we managed to rip off some, note that I said some of the nail trim that holds carpet down. That part seems to take forever! I also tried to take off some of the peel & stick tiles in the kitchen. Apparently the first one was the easiest. Because the other ones seem to be brittle and just break into little pieces. I also discovered that in the main part of the kitchen ... tile has been placed over top of tile. So I have two, that's right TWO layers of tile to take off. On a high note..I found where the pee smell came from. It was on the carpet in the front hall closet. Which I ripped out...and then realized I had forgotten to put gloves on. Man, I'm so glad I brought hand soap with me! We also had some bevvies from Tim Horton's & of course some baked yummy goodness. We were getting right into the renovations mode. You can't renovate with out Timmy's.
So tonight a mover is coming over to give us a quote to see how much it will be to move. Then afterwards, we will go to the house and try to accomplish something.
Then tomorrow starts the real deal. We'll be there ALL day for the next 9 days. Plus tomorrow is a VERY early day. We're getting up early to go out for breakfast and then we have to meet the locksmith for 9:30. I'm tired already and we're just starting. Hopefully the rest of the renovations don't go as slow as last night.

Rude relatives

2007-05-03T13:54:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I have to write this because it's annoying me. My aunt ... let's call her 'A', is having a suprise birthday party for her husband. That's not the annoying part. Her sister-in-law, who we'll call 'B', called up and said that she was bringing her RV up and spending the night. 'B' didn't ask, she just told 'A' that was what was going to happen. 'B' wants to 'party' and doesn't want to drive home. It's just supposed to be a coffee and cake, gathering. Nothing substantial. So instead of making it a small, light get together, 'B' wants to make it a drinking party. Also, 'B' will be drinking in the RV with her daughter there. Granted her daughter is 13, but it's still not a good enviroment for a child. So I'm annoyed with 'B', and totally sympathize with Aunt 'A'. I've had run-ins with 'B', she tries to control me and tell me what to do. I'm 30 - freakin' years old! I don't do well when people try to control me, or pull crap like the above. However, that's a completely different story...

Anywho...

How redneck is it to park a RV in someone's driveway so you can drink all night???

Day 2 of Renovations...

2007-05-03T11:16:00.000-04:00

I should say ... Hours # 3 & 4, but Day 2 souds better. We're both working this week, so can only go to the house and do some work for a couple hours a night. We took the dogs with us, because when we went to leave they started howling. REALLY LOUD!! Not good in an apartment building. So they got their wish and came with us. We had to section them off in the entrance way because there is too much junk and dangerous things they could get hurt with. So Kiya, whined THE WHOLE 2 HOURS!!!!!! Keri & I were both ready to kill her. Good thing she's cute. The move is really stressing her out. Everytime she sees boxes leaving the house, or me packing another box, she gets extremely clingy. I think she might believe we'll be taking a REALLY long vacation and we aren't going to take her. The stress is making her act out with a whole lot of barking! But back to the renovations ... last night, I got most of the wallpaper off in the kitchen. The spot by the stove that was caked in grease ... that is stuck like glue. My boss bought me some cleaning supplies as a 'congrats on the new place', and there is an awesome grease remover in the package. So I'll try and use that to get off the last of the wallpaper. Keri removed the carpet from the closets. The shag carpet in the linen closet...I thought it was orange. It actually used to be yellow... that's how dirty it was. The carpet in the livingroom is gone. I think for a couple hours of work we did good. I'm proud of us. I got my first injury. I was getting up on the paint ladder, which is new and my knee hit a sharp edge on the ladder. It ripped right through my jeans, rather nice jeans ... and I only have 2 pair of jeans. grr. The ladder gouged my knee, so it was a good thing there was a first aid kit in the van!

So tonight after work, it will be a quick trip to Rona to pick up some more supplies. I know I'll have to clean that bathroom before the major work begins on Saturday ... but it's just soooooo gross! So I'll definately be picking up a new toilet seat...and hopefully soon, a new toilet. ick. Just the thought of the current state of the bathroom gives me the dry heaves.

I don't know if this is normal, but I'm having a very hard time concentrating on work this week. I just want to get into the house and 'get her done'. It's fun, of course it's only day 2. Ask me again at the end of next week. I'm sore after a total of 4 hours of physical labour. I love learning construction stuff, but I am woman enough to admit I am too much of a wimp to do it for a living.

My new washer & dryer are being delivered this Tuesday. Yay! No more laundry mats for me. Some weird people go there, and I am refering to people other than myself. I won't have to listen to stupid slutty women flirting with married men. Hey you, hoser... he's married .... move on!

Also, my new fridge & stove are scheduled to be delivered on May 19th. So I guess if nothing else is done ... we better have the kitchen painted and the new floor down.

Yay! I'm so excited. Appliances, a vehicle & a mortgage. Wow, I'm a bona fide adult now.

Lunch at BP's.

2007-05-02T15:26:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I went to lunch with my parents, to B*ston Pizza. We had a rather..umm, ditzy waitress. I may not know much about men, but I certainly know more than her. While she was taking the drink orders, my father asked for a drink with a mixture of orange juice, cranberry juice, gingerale & some grenadine. The waitress' response was...'oh, you mean like a Shirley Temple??' My dad gave her a look and repeated the mixture he wanted, and she trots off. She comes back 15 minutes later with our drinks. Easy drinks, so I don't know why it took her so long to bring back an ice tea with a slice of lemon, and a glass of cold water with lemon (it was supposed to be hot water with lemon) and then the juice mix for my dad. She looks at him and says 'I asked the bartender and he said it was a Shirley Temple with cranberry juice added to it. So next time you know what to order.' I'm sure she didn't see my dad roll his eyes.

Not the brightest cookie. Because you never, ever, EVER suggest ... especially to a straight man... that next time he orders a SHIRLEY TEMPLE! Men don't order Shirley Temples! They order MISC JUICE MIXED TOGETHER!!! This girl has a lot to learn... So miss waitress, your lesson for today is .... Just because a man orders a frilly drink, doesn't mean you point it out to him.

End of Story

That's Ms. Homeowner To You!

2007-05-02T11:37:00.000-04:00

So yesterday was the closing day for my new house. It's a condo townhouse, that I bought with my best friend. We're both excited, because that means we get to move out of the hood! Yay us!! It's in a nice area of town and includes a complex pool and a basketball court. We even have a backyard. A perfect place for future neices/nephews and my darling chihuahuas. So I had my final walkthrough that morning. It was scheduled for 9:30. My real estate agent was a bit late, but that's fine...it's to be expected in that business. However, my lawyer, who is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING, called me at 9:40 to see how the walkthrough went. He's so on the ball, reasonably priced and honest ... which I know is hard to find. Things that had to be done by the seller included all of the tenants possessions are to be removed and all new floor vents (because the current ones were disgusting .. as in dirty and decaying) I pull up into my new driveway...and there is a pile of junk outside the townhouse. Not a small pile...but a rather large one, probably almost the size of my minivan. The pile included garbage, lampshades, wood, a vaccuum, recycling, garbage, and a couple of pee stained mattresses. mmm, yummy. Then I get inside and I was in shock! The place smelled so bad, and I knew the place would be dirty, but I had no idea how dirty it was until all of the previous occupants items were gone. There was a substantial hole in the wood panelling in the basement ... which was new. And the seller also didn't replace the cool air vent. Lazy butt! It's something that has to be special ordered, so he didn't bother doing it. So my lawyer got us some money because we have to replace the vent and fix the wall. I also had to run to Home Depot to price these items because the sellers laywer offered an insulting amount. I'm glad I had the day off. But despite the hiccups, everything is all done and signed. The place is ours! Last night Keri & I went to the new place for a couple of hours, and managed to rip out all of the carpeting & underlay in the upstairs and on the stairs going upstairs. We are quite proud of ourselves. In the process of ripping out carpet, we found some gifts from the previous occupants. They left us a shrimp tail in the bedroom, a half eaten lollypop in the front hall closet, some used Q-tips, the walls have that yellowey/brown grease goo all over the kitchen and a suprise in the bathroom. Thankfully it was just pee, but come on! How difficult is it to flush a toilet??? They also left us some hideous window treatments, a couple bars of used soap and some pads.... but they took the toilet paper. People are weird...and very, very dirty. I mean the bad kind of dirty, not the good kind. I like good dirty. TMI, sorry. We also found out that the patio door lock isn't working. So I had to find some peices of wood to jam in the door. I have all my tools there and definately don't want them to get stolen. I have the locksmith coming this weekend, and he'll rekey the door, add a deadbolt and fix the balcony door lock. Wow! This home buying/owning is hard work. But I sure can't wait to do more renovations. We both have 9 days off so we'll be doing some major work at the new place. I'm VERY excited to see how it will look after we put our personal touches into the house. I'm hoping it's unrecognizeable. I'll let you know.

Mazie

2007-03-14T13:23:00.000-04:00

This is what I sometimes call my best friend. It was all a misunderstanding. She had written her middle names down...and her writing is sooooooooooo bad! So I thought it said Mazie, which it did not, and the nickname just stuck.
We had very different upbringings. Mazie & my parents love their children in their own way...they just seem to love us very differently. My parents are full of physical affection. Hugs & kisses when I want or need them. Always a helping hand if I need it. Very supportive and a very 'hands on' family. My parents seem to miss me (and my sister), just an hour after we've finished a family visit. And they of course will say so.
Mazie on the other hand...
I know her parents love her, I have no doubt of that. I think they're great, we get along and they've even invited me to live in their home so I could accept a job in that city. Very generous! But it's how they are with Mazie that bothers me. It's the little & big things. When she flys home for a visit, instead of being treated like a guest she's more like a maid. They put her to work..it's more of a 'do this', instead of 'would you mind helping me?'. Mazie's income is less than 1/5 of what her parents make and at least 1/4 of what her brother makes. She always manages to go home and visit. She can't afford to, but she misses her family. All her trips go onto her credit card and she is still paying for them. She has lived in Ontario for over 5 years now. Her brother has yet to visit. Her mother has been her twice. One of those times is because her husband and son were away and so they sent the mom here so she wouldn't be alone. Maybe it's petty. But I wish they would come to see her because they missed her and loved her...not because they just don't want to be alone. Her dad has been here a few times, but that's mostly because he has business to attend to in this area. He has been here once for a pleasure trip. So I can't totally fault her parents.
I guess I'm all annoyed, because Mazie & I are looking to buy a house together. Last night she was upset because it means she'll have no money to go visit her parents. Her parents don't seem to care that she's going to buy a home. My family is excited for me. My grandmother squeeled on the phone for heavens sake! (grandma is REALLY excited) Mazie's parents said they would come and visit her when she gets something bigger than an apartment. Because they can't afford to stay at the hotel. So Mazie gets an email this morning from her father. He can't afford to come visit. He just bought a truck worth 60,000...so her visit has to wait. She is totally hurt! And I'm totally pissed off. I don't understand how a truck is more important than a child. It's like ... I'm sorry I can't fly to see you for $500 and stay at a hotel for a week $700 (even though we offer our apartment instead) a total of $1200 but I can buy a $60,000 truck. This is just the tip of the iceberg of things that happen. I hurt for my best friend. I can't imagine my father saying that. I know I would be devastated, and hurt. Hurt isn't even a strong enough word. It would feel like a gouge in my heart.
I know all I can do is just be there for her. I just wish I could make things better for her.

Yellow Roses

2007-03-01T14:37:00.000-05:00

I forgot to say...

When I was visiting my grandma & grandpaW to pick up 'Simone' ...

My Grandpa 'G' came by to see me. I had issued a ticket for his brother and brought it up for him. In our conversation when he was booking the ticket, I asked if I could go shoe shopping with his credit card. He said no. So I asked if I could by myself some flowers...he said I could buy one. So I made a loud exhale...then I said ... can it be a yellow rose? To which he agreed. (but I was just joking, and he knew it)

My Grandpa 'G' loves me, I know this. But he doesn't really know how to show it. I'm used to a very lovey, dovey family who is very openly affectionate. So I have a hard time with my grandfather G's lack of outward affection.

As a thank you for bringing the tickets all the way down to him. He showed up at my grandparents 'W' with a thank you gift for me. It was 2 red roses & a Russ teddy bear. I can't remember him ever getting a gift for me, so I was VERY touched. He couldn't stay long, but we still had a little chat. When he left, he was gone about 30 seconds then popped his head back in the front door. He looked at me and said ... 'I hope it's ok, they didn't have any yellow roses so I got you two red instead'. All I could do was smile and thank him. I held it together until after he left. I went to find my grandma ' W' because I needed a hug. I just started crying.
It just meant SO much to me. He had listened to me ... not just heard what I said, but was listening. Sometimes, I may feel like he doesn't care or I don't matter... but he just proved me wrong.

It was a day of blessings. I was quite overwhelmed. The minivan from my grandparents 'W', my grandpa 'G' expressing how much he loves me...and on my drive home...my new minivan has good brakes. Why is this a blessing? Because a family of deer were crossing the road. It was a very peaceful moment and I just had to thank God because of the sheer beauty of the moment. I am so blessed...with the beauty of nature, with a giving & loving family, two adorable puppies, the most amazing best friend, a job I love, a wonderful boss who is a fun and caring person, a roof over my head, a lovely & free country and finally a prime minister with some brass ones.

ADDITION...

I am also blessed with a wonderful sister who loves me despite my kookiness.

Simone

2007-03-01T13:40:00.000-05:00

Simone... That is the name of my brand spankin' new van!! I'm Soooooooo excited! My grandparents called me almost a month ago and offered me their van. They gave me a great deal on it too! It's a grey, 2001 Ford Windstar minivan with 6 cylinders. I'm not sure what 6 cylinders means...but my new baby 'Simone' has some kick to her! Two weeks ago, I went down to see my grandparents and change over the van to my name. But apparently you need a safety check & an E-Test done on it. So I didn't get her then. But that's ok, because I had the best visit with my grandparents. So on Monday, I went up back to my grandparents where we changed 'Simone' into my ownership. I'm a proud mama! She has cruise control and TONS of space. I can put my usual laundry in the back and still have room enough for a dozen bodies. Maybe not sitting down...but definately stacked up. I've felt comfortable enough in Simone to leave my cellphone at home. She's not going to break down on me and still has that brand new smell.

The best part? The first 4 characters on my licence plate??? AZWX Does anyone play bumper stumpers? Cause I started laughing at the vehicle registry office. Azzz Wax ... hee hee. I could never remember my licence plate for my poor old 98, 3 cylinder neon.... but I'm pretty sure I'll remember this one!

Maybe it's Spring...

2007-03-01T13:30:00.000-05:00

Today is the first day in a long time that I've felt good. Not just, ho hum good, but really GOOD! I haven't lost more weight...I'm actually plateaued and I still feel fat. But I'm starting to feel healthy. I haven't felt this healthy in years! I'm up to 60 minutes on the bike, and even started stomach exercises last night. Even though the scale isn't going down, I feel like I'm getting somewhere. Plus I can smell spring in the air, which makes me even happier and adds that extra spring in my step :)

YAY for springtime!!!

This One's For You Sis....

2007-02-23T14:18:00.000-05:00

My sister say's she's waiting for the day I put something *ahem* personal on my blog. So here it is. I've started the process of looking to buy a house. And for some reason. When ever I think about buying a house, I get the nervous bladder. I'm nervous which means I think I have to pee, when I really don't. That, and to top it all off ... I'm horny. Just for no reason. I don't have to have a reason, I don't ever need to be thinking about sex or a hot guy. Just out of the blue my body starts 'humming'. Is this normal?? Really ... is it? I can be cleaning windows, or eating pizza, reading a book, playing video games and then my body just starts 'humming' and it also happens at work ... quite often. Do you know how hard it is to concentrate when you are so unbelievably horny you think your head is about to explode?????? Do you???? To bad we can't have vibrator brakes instead of coffee breaks.

TMI? Sorry.

Itchy, Itchy

2007-02-22T13:42:00.000-05:00

So it's winter, which means it's dry out. Usually I get a little patch of eczema on the inside of my elbows. Not this year. This year I have it on my calves, by my ankle, my hips, stomach and my most favorite...my boobs. I don't mean the creamy, milky white mound part. I mean the aerole and my nipples. Have you ever had eczema on your nipples?????????? Oh my goodness! I want to scratch my skin off...but can't because... 'Hello?!!' Nipples are pretty sensitive!

Aaargh! Must ... not ... scratch!

I feel like crying...

2007-02-16T12:39:00.000-05:00

I'm feeling so lousy today. You know how people have fat days? Well I don't feel fat today, I feel absolutely monstrous!! Not fat, huge, or ginormous ... but overwhelmingly MONSTROUS!I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. I try to avoid looking at myself in the mirror because I hate what I see. I feel like no one is never going to love me or find me beautiful. Of course I've been told I'm beautiful ... but I want someone to say it and mean it. I don't want someone...as in a man.. to say I'm beautiful because that's what he thinks I want/need to hear or because he thinks it'll help him try and get me into bed. I want someone to mean it.
I felt bad enough this morning. I weighed myself and now I'm only down 6 pounds instead of 8. So how do I fix it?? Well the logical thing to do is be more strict and maybe up the exercise to 1 hour instead of my now 40 minute workout. Instead I had 2 ... yes, 2 peanut butter squares. why? I guess food has been my comfort. It can't talk back to me and it's always there. How pathetic is that?! The funny/pathetic thing is that I didn't really enjoy them, they are super sweet and have too much chocolate on them. I feel even worse after having them. I just ate a countless amount of calories, eating something I didn't really enjoy. So I sit here feeling like a monstrous, ugly, pathetic, unloveable fattie. It's a good day.

Crazy people surround me..

2007-02-15T11:31:00.000-05:00

Oops...sorry that is fellow Canadians. A crazy man just ran by our office window. I say crazy because he was jogging .... and wearing shorts and a T-Shirt.

... It's -29C with the windchill.

The easiest way to describe that to my cyber friends in the nice warm south .... DAMN COLD!! People can freeze to death in this weather and that nutbar is wearing shorts. **shaking head**

People think I'm crazy? Ok, so I've worn a bathing suit in the middle of winter, but that was at the hot springs and it's hard to freeze when you're in the hot water. Ok...so I also sun tanned on the cement because I was so hot. But when you cool down, you get back in the hot water until you're ready to boil and then go sun tan again. (It's supposed to be healthy, like the sauna then the cold water swim thing)

Hmm, Never mind...

I guess I AM a bit crazy ... just not as crazy as shorts boy.

My Second Appointment

2007-02-14T12:52:00.000-05:00

So last night, I had my 2nd appointment with the dietician. I was nervous about going back! Especially since last week I totally ate like a hog. I was sick so didn't bother eating healthy and by the time the weekend came around I felt like crap! I guess my body is getting used to this eating healthy thing and kinda rebelled when I fed it junk food...and a LOT of it. Let's see...pizza, cheesy bread, chicken kickers, those cupcakes with the icing in the middle, danishes, 2 bean & cheese burritos ...I didn't eat all of this at the same time. But I did eat it all within 5 days. Man I felt bad. So I confessed to the dietician that I had not been eating how I should. Ok, confessed some of it. I just summed it all up as 'a bunch of junk food'. Plus I didn't exercise from Wednesday to Sunday, so I felt extra unhealthy. I told my dietician 'C' about the lack of exercise. I was expecting to get scolded or a look or something. She told me she was impressed. I'm pretty sure I had the 'huh?' look on my face. So I again tell her, I didn't eat like I was supposed to and didn't exercise everyday. So, I guess she didn't expect me to do amazingly. She told me not to beat myself up. I'm back on track and that's what counts. Her goal for me was to exercise 10 minutes/day for at least 3 days/week. My first 2 weeks I exercised 20 min every day and 3rd/4th weeks it was 30 min/day for everyday except that Wednesday-Sunday stretch. I think 'C' is most impressed that I get up so early in the morning to fit in the exercise.

Sorry guys..I'm sure this is exciting for you ..but I'm still writing it.

First week on weightwatchers I lost 4 pounds. Then I went to the dietician and changed the way I was eating again. I've been trying to mix the dieticians recommendations along with the weight watchers program. So needless to say I was SOOOO frustrated the 2nd week when I melded the 2 together and gained 2 pounds. I followed the program faithfully, plus I felt hungry the whole time and wanted to scream & cry & have a tantrum like a little baby because I was always feeling hungry plus I had gained that weight. When you're trying to lose weight...gaining 2 pounds is horrid!! It usually takes me 2 weeks to lose that amount of weight. But I'm doing better this week. I've lost a total of 8 pounds...it seems rather pitiful to me to lose only that amount in 5 weeks. But I have only myself to blame. I didn't have to eat the pizza, cheesy bread, danishes, cupcakes, a yummy & delicious beavertail, etc. But I guess there's no sense in beating myself up. I'm back on the bandwagon and I may not be perfect and may mess up everynow and then but I'm committed to getting healthy. It's going to take time to lose this weight and get healthy...but I guess anything worthwhile is worth the working towards.

So my goal is to lose a total of 25lbs by my birthday. That's July 7th. So wish me luck. I'm going to need it because that pizza & chocolate keep calling my name! LOL...mmm, chocolate...

10 Things that make me shake my head...

2007-02-06T17:04:00.000-05:00

1) I have to start with this one...because it just happened. Young people (usually of the male persuasion) drive around with their windows open with music blaring. I think they think that they look cool. But us adults know that they just look STUPID!! A guy just did this, the window was cracked a good 10 inches on the passenger side...with no passenger...It's -15C with windchill...and that's before you're driving 60km/hr. mmmm k. Idjit!

2) Wearing socks with sandals

3) Thongs sticking way above a girls ultra-low rise pants. Come on! Have some class...it just makes you look like a trashy ho

4) My dogs who like to switch bowls half-way through their meal, even if they are eating the same thing. (but oh so cute)

5) Marilyn Manson

6) George Bush (sorry, my lovely American readers)

7) My sister and her Madonna fetish

8) My sister and her collection of pj's.

9) Men. They think we're complicated?? Sometimes they're worse! (especially the white boys)

10) Kids who smoke because they think they look cool. I've seen 8 year olds smoke...they can't figure it out when I take one look at them and burst out laughing. Hint, hint, I'm not laughing with you, I'm laughing AT you...cause you look like an IDIOT! So you look dumb, have bad smokers breath and stink of nicotine. Shaking my head right now. (sorry to the adult smokers) I bet that's what people thought when they saw me smoking at the ripe age of 12. I now know they were right. :)

Denying the Truth...

2007-01-31T16:51:00.000-05:00

I like to deny the truth...especially when it hurts.

My sister insulted me a couple of weeks ago and it bugged me..I admit it. She said I was going to be a cougar...more likely, I already was one. And all because I shared that I thought the main character on 'The Covenant' was hot. (Turns out he's 19...oh boy...at least that's legal) I also thought Viktor Krum in Harry Potter wasn't too bad looking...a bit on the young side...but still hot none the less. Well, a client came in today. Ooooohh! He was gorgeous!!! Even my boss was looking & appreciating! I wouldn't mind turning him over my knee and giving him a good spanking...or vice versa. Anyways, I almost choked when he told me his birthdate. He's 19!!!!!!!
I swear he didn't look that young. I am a very dirty girl!! I must now embrace the fact that I am a cougar!! Grrrr baby!! I'm ready to pounce...

Watch out Mrs. Robinson, your competition has arrived :D

Meeting with the Dietician

2007-01-16T13:43:00.000-05:00

So my sister got on my case to make a post about this...so I am. Nag, nag, nag. Good thing I love ya sis!

Anyways...I met with the dietician yesterday. And what a day it was. We got freezing rain. It took me 1/2 hr to get to the place when it should take me 10-15 minutes. Oh well. Winter has finally struck! The dietician asked some tough questions....like what I ate the week before. I can barely remember what I ate last night, let alone last week! Is that normal?? I'm actually asking...is that normal? I just don't really pay attention to what I eat...which is probably why I'm obese. I can admit it. Anyways, 'C' the dietician thinks I'm starting on the right track. I know what I have to do, it's just a matter of doing it. She wants me to tweak some things and she's adding things to help with the cholesterol. Like I have to have 2 Tbsp of a mixture of flaxseed, oatbran & psyllium everyday. This however makes you poop. (TMI, sorry!) So I have to start of slow, like 2 tsp/day for a couple of days and increase until I'm up to the 2 Tbsp/day. 'C' is nice enough to give me that tip so I don't get diarrhea. (that would be BAD) I also have to have snacks throughout the day. I know this is so exciting for my readers. So my cereal & skim milk for breakfast; a fruit for snack between 10-11; then lunch..a sandwich with lowfat meat, light cheese and grainy bread; another snack between 3-4 that has veggies & protein;then dinner...which has to include 2 veggies, a starch and some protein. My head hurts just thinking about it. On top of the food issue, I have to keep a food diary. Because I don't always realize what I'm putting in my mouth. Mindless eating...I'm quite familiar with that. I also have to get up 1/2 hr early to get some exercise in the morning to jump start my metabolism and then after work I have to do another type of exercise. This is all supposed to help my cholesterol. I go back to the dietician in 1 month to see my progress.

Good news. I lost 4 pounds last week. I believe they were the 4 pounds I gained over Christmas/New Years. Do you realize that you have to have a defecit of 3,500 calories to lose 1 pound of fat?????!!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy Crap!!!!! What the hell was I eating before?? I guess that's why they say the food diary is your friend.

Heart Disease

2007-01-11T14:14:00.000-05:00

I looked up heart disease and this is what I found....

What is heart disease?

Heart disease is a number of abnormal conditions affecting the heart and the blood vessels in the heart. Types of heart disease include:
Coronary artery disease (CAD) is the most common type and is the leading cause of heart attacks. When you have CAD, your arteries become hard and narrow. Blood has a hard time getting to the heart, so the heart does not get all the blood it needs. CAD can lead to:
Angina. Angina is chest pain or discomfort that happens when the heart does not get enough blood. It may feel like a pressing or squeezing pain, often in the chest, but sometimes the pain is in the shoulders, arms, neck, jaw, or back. It can also feel like indigestion (upset stomach). Angina is not a heart attack, but having angina means you are more likely to have a heart attack.
Heart attack. A heart attack occurs when an artery is severely or completely blocked, and the heart does not get the blood it needs for more than 20 minutes.
Heart failure occurs when the heart is not able to pump blood through the body as well as it should. This means that other organs, which normally get blood from the heart, do not get enough blood. It does NOT mean that the heart stops. Signs of heart failure include:
Shortness of breath (feeling like you can't get enough air)
Swelling in feet, ankles, and legs
Extreme tiredness
Heart arrhythmias are changes in the beat of the heart. Most people have felt dizzy, faint, out of breath or had chest pains at one time. These changes in heartbeat are, for most people, harmless. As you get older, you are more likely to have arrhythmias. Don't panic if you have a few flutters or if your heart races once in a while. If you have flutters AND other symptoms such as dizziness or shortness of breath (feeling like you can't get enough air), call 911 right away.

I've had a heart murmur when I was younger, my grandfather had angina and died of a stroke and I have had dizzy spells. Should I be scared? Cause I am

Wake Up Call

2007-01-11T12:29:00.000-05:00

So I went to the doctor this morning. I had some bloodwork done in December. You know, the kind where you have a 14 hour fast then get poked with a needle? Yeah, well, I didn't drink enough water and the nurse couldn't get a vein in either arm or hand. She had to have poked my arms/hands about 6 times. I didn't feel like doing the fast thing again so I suggested having blood taken out of my foot. By the way...I never knew a needle could be so warm. I want to say it burned, but it didn't it was just really warm. And boy did it bruise, it hurt to put shoes on afterwards. Just be forewarned if you ever have blood drawn from your foot.

Anywho...I'm getting off topic..which seems to happen often...

My head was getting woozy after eating sometimes and I thought it could be diabetes, because that runs in the family. Thank goodness I cleared that test. My blood sugar numbers were all good. That was good news. Then came the bad news...my bad cholesterol is very high and my good cholesterol is abnormally low. Didn't sound too bad to me. Then the doctor tells me because of my cholesterol levels, I am in a high risk of heart disease. I'm being sent to a dietician to give me a low fat diet. That sucks. I usually do so good. I drink skim milk, the only meats I eat are poulty & fish, I drink skim milk, when cooking things on the stove I use water instead of oil, I try to stay away from cream sauces and go for tomato sauces, rarely have eggs and it's usually egg whites I eat. He told me I had higher cholesterol a year ago but I thought I was doing things right. Guess not. So I have to ...doctors orders...see the dietician and do 45 minutes of aerobics (Richard Simmons won't cut it) at least 4 times a week. And by Aerobic he means at least 45 minutes of huffing and puffing where I can't carry on a conversation. I started weight watchers...again...beginning of this week even before I saw the doctor. I have no excuses now, I have to do it for my health. Too bad it took the words 'heart disease' to put things in perspective. I have another appointment in 3 months to see my progress. I better get my arse in gear!

Wish me luck!!

Only Best Friends

2007-01-09T16:49:00.000-05:00

Me: Wow, he's hot!

Keri: uh-huh!

Me: I wonder what our future husbands will look like.

Keri: Not like that. There's no way we'll land husbands that hot.

Me: I just hope my future husband isn't ugly enough to make me puke...

(As you can see...I have high expectations)

Beans on Toast

2006-12-22T09:26:00.000-05:00

Before my roommate left to go home for Christmas, I had all these wonderful plans. I was going to eat really healthy and exercise. Somehow, the Christmas gifts she put on the exercise bike is enough of a deterrent for me to NOT exercise. Because, you see, it would just be too difficult to move those particular gifts. Hey, any excuse will do. As for the eating healthy...I thought it would be easier to cook healthy when it was just me. Not so. I just don't feel like cooking for one. It just seems so pathetic. So I resort to things like a frozen pizza, cereal, leftover pasta and last night..I had beans on toast. I know, it's very British. But I didn't eat all the beans. So being a good mommy to my puppies...I mixed a couple spoonfuls into my dogs dinner dishes. Everyone can use a bit of fibre...right?

So this morning, my dogs were in the bathroom with me (I was peeing if you must know) and my boy, Anubis, just started farting. I just cracked up laughing. They weren't the silent but deadly...they were more like little popcorn farts. He has this...'what?' look on his face which made me laugh more. I've never heard my female dog fart, only the male...I wonder why that is? His usual response to one of his farts...
First, he looks shocked...like he's think 'what was that??'
Second, He looks back at his butt, suprised to think it came out of him
Third, He sniffs his butt
Fourth, He turns back around with his little look that says 'Yup, I guess that was me'

Then I crack up laughing. Thank goodness I've never seen a human doing this, that would just be weird. However I did meet a girl who gave me way TMI and told me she loves the smell of her farts. (Man, I hope she was pulling my leg.)

VERY interesting Link

2006-11-25T11:45:00.000-05:00

Bad Start to My Week

2006-11-20T12:01:00.000-05:00

Yup, it's a whiny post. Skip if you want.

Hmmm, where to start. You know how when you have a problem that seems so big...the small things just send you over the edge?? I'm totally there.
I have a rather old car, a 1998 dodge neon with almost 270,000km. It was my parents old car. They said that if I fixed it up, then I can have it. I really needed a car, so I did. To start I put about 1500 into the car. Including brand, spanking new tires...both all season and winter tires. Then about 2 months ago, my brakes went. Not wore down..they went. Thankfully, I was in my apartment building's parking lot...trying to park. So I just ran into the wire fence. All was ok. The car was also choking and barely starting up. Everytime I slowed down, she wanted to stall. So I took it to the shop....560.00 later...I thought she would at least last me until the spring. I know she's not perfect, she burns oil and needs a new fuel filter. You may wonder why I don't get a new fuel filter?? Well, that's because the idiots at Dodge decided to put the filter in the fuel tank. So in order to replace the fuel filter, I need a new fuel module. So to fix the oil burning problem will be about 1500...and the fuel module will be close to the same amount. The car is only worth 1500...so why bother to fix the bloody car!!! I went to visit my sister this weekend. Where I had a great time shopping, and just hanging out with her. We don't do it very often, so it was nice to see her. I drove into Ottawa with her, and no problems with the car. Then Sunday morning, we went to the grocery store...still no problems. That night, when I was on my way home, I didn't get 100 metres from her house before I started to have problems. I get just past Smith Falls and I had to pull over because the car was acting so badly. A woman, alone by the side of the road in the dark. I had the hood popped and tried to see if there was anything I could do. Oil was fine(just filled it up last week), the coolant was close to the add line...so I was hoping that was it...but I knew better. No one stopped to help the female. Which was good because I didn't get murdered. I know it's weird but I was also a bit miffed, because if I had been in real trouble I know that no one would have stopped to help me. (except an axe murderer maybe..) So I filled up the coolant and tried to start her up. Nothing. The stinkin car wouldn't start!! It took me a bit to get her started, had to give her some gas. Thankfully I made it home. (1 1/2 hrs away from my sisters) I was just crying when I got into town. The car had gotten so bad that at the stop lights I had to put it into neutral and rev the car for the whole light to keep it from stalling. Needless to say, it was a chore getting to work this morning with all the shifting and revving.
I still haven't found out if I'm getting the raise I asked for. I just want to know!!!! If I'm getting the raise, then I can get a new car. If not...then I'm screwed and have to go back to taking the bus. I'm close to tears because I'm so frustrated. I've had the car since June 14th. That would be 5 months and I've spent over 2000 on a car that's worth 1500. Yes, I'm an IDIOT!!! I, in no way blame my parents. I know they feel terrible. But I just feel like such a failure and such an idiot. That $2000 in 5 months equals to $400.00/month. I was so close to paying off my debt. Now I have added another $2000 to my debt load...but now I will have nothing but 5 months of driving to show for it. If I could afford another car, then I could at least trade this one in. But now...it's a junker...who's going to want to buy a car that is 8 yrs old and has almost 270,000km on it? I'll tell you who...no one. I just wasted $2000. I'm an idiot. I guess you live and learn. It's a pretty damn expensive lesson!

Then I lost my gold earring this morning. I dropped it and couldn't find it. And I started my period this morning.

But I'm supposed to concentrate on the positive things.

So here they are:

1)I found my female puppy, Kiya, chewing on my earring. She found an expensive earring for me and didn't destroy it by the time I took it from her.

2)I started my period before I woke up this morning. I wasn't prepared with a liner..but I didn't leak onto my nice flannel sheets or even the new knickers I had just bought.

3)The car started this morning....

4)I'll let you know

2006-11-11T12:49:00.000-05:00

Your Quirk Factor: 53%

You're a pretty quirky person, but you're just normal enough to hide it.Congratulations - you've fooled other people into thinking you're just like them!

How Quirky Are You?

Hmm, what do you have to say about that Kim??

It still makes me laugh

2006-11-11T12:33:00.001-05:00

When I was working on Monday, by myself, I happened to go into the staff kitchen. I noticed a poopy smell. I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out what it was. There was no garbage bag in the garbage can so I assumed that maybe it was something in the kitchen sink drain. So, I poured bleach down the sink and tidied a bit, because it smelled so bad.
Out of the blue I thought....I wonder if that's what dead bodies smell like? So I remembered the mouse that I once found and freed out to the garbage room (where I thought he'd be happy)
So I looked under the microwave (his favorite hiding spot) and under the toaster...nothing. So then I looked behind the microwave stand....still nothing. I glanced into the garbage can again, and didn't see anyting. So, I just went about my business. It was possible that one of my bosses several pairs of shoes stored in the kitchen had contracted some doggy doodoo and tracked it into the kitchen. Plausible right??

Tuesday morning:
The smell was still here this morning. I'm not on crack. My boss could smell it too. She thought it was smelly too. ...just like poopy.
So I'm sitting at my desk when I hear a shriek from the kitchen. I think the worst, because I broke a glass this morning and I thought maybe Cathy was going to take out the garbage and sliced her finger open. It wasn't just one shriek...it was a woman having a spaz attack in the kitchen. Then I come running...ok...so not running, but I was walking fairly fast.

When I arrive in the kitchen, I see my boss standing holding the garbage can far away from her while going...ew, ew,ew,ew...ewwwwwwww.....Take it, take it! So I grab the garbage can. (I'm still confused at this point...I didn't see any blood) Then she tells me what happened.

When she went into the kitchen she could smell the poopy smell...so she thought maybe there was something rotten in the garbage can. She didn't see anything...so she picked up the garbage and took a big whiff! What she didn't see, was that there was in fact a dead mouse in the garbage can. It was just so dark that you couldn't see him from far away. I just about died laughing!! I'm still laughing about it. I'm laughing right now. She took a huge whiff of dead, decaying mouse. After I dumped the mouse, I came back with the garbage can and she looks at me like I'm crazy. 'I thought you would throw out the whole thing! Including the can!"
...me...'it was only a mouse, no sense throwing out the garbage can.
her...'I'm not washing it!"
me..."ok'
So she comes at me..or rather comes at the garbage can with windex...then pours some bleach in it...then some sunlight. She was looking for more cleaners, but I had to stop her. Man it was funny.
After filling the garbage can with some water...I came out to see my boss with a perfume sample to her nose. She was trying to get the smell out of her nostrils.
Man, I'm still laughing!!!
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaha hahahahahahahhahahahahah
(what I neglected to say, was that on Saturday she had put out the garbage...and didn't see the mouse...so technically she can't blame me...can she?"

Miami Ink

2006-10-04T14:16:00.000-04:00

This is kinda mean...but I'm still posting it.

So last night I was watching Miami Ink. Personally, I think it's weird how people see something in food or trees or whatever and see Jesus or the Virgin Mary. How in the world do you know what they looked like???? You only see today's version of what we think he would have looked like. You know, the pastey white guy with shoulder long hair. Helloooo???? The man was JEWISH!!! Most likely he looked olive toned! But that is not the point. And..it's a natural human instinct to make faces or shapes out of things. People see palm tree clouds for crying out loud.

Anyways.....

On Miami Ink last night, a woman wanted a tattoo of her Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich. She was making herself a grilled cheese sandwich and when she went to take a bite she apparently saw the Virgin Mary in it. I just saw a womans face...why she said the Virgin Mary?? No clue there.

Anyways....

She mentioned that she auctioned it off for $28,000.

My point ... you're wondering what my point is??

SHE GOT $28,000 FOR THE STINKING SANDWICH AND SHE STILL DOESN'T HAVE TEETH???????????????

The woman has like 3 teeth! Are you telling me that with $28,000 you can't BUY yourself some teeth???? They only cost about 1,500 - 2000. BUY YOURSELF SOME TEETH!

Gross.

Things that are new with me:

2006-09-25T15:30:00.000-04:00

1) A couple of weekends ago at a work conference, we decided to go out for dinner afterwards. I discovered an Indian buffet. It looked kinda scarey from the outside, but we saw a lot of Indians going in and we decided to give it a try. Oh my goodness!!!!! The food was amazing!! We pretty much rolled out of there. Absolutely NO room for dessert..I was that full. I'm considering driving the 2 1/2 hrs just to go have dinner at that restaurant. My mouth is salivating just thinking about it. The only downside to the restaurant?? I discovered what 'ring of fire' means!! Ouch! (TMI .... sorry)

2) Just outside of the grocery store yesterday...my friend looks at me and tells me I have a white hair. I'm thinking...I'm 30...of course I have white hair! Then she points out that it's an EYEBROW HAIR!!! I HAD A WHITE EYEBROW HAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HUH????????? Isn't that not supposed to happen until your in your 70's or 80's? I refused to go in the store until I managed to pluck it out. I am still traumatized by that event.

3) I'm 3 weeks late for my period. No...I'm not pregnant. Yes...I'm MOST positive! Anyways...I've been a bit emotional. My sister is on some kind of hormone thing for her IVF, it's supposed to make her emotional...I like to think I'm having 'sympathy' hormones. My best friend/roommate says she hopes I get my period soon so I go back to my sweet, lovable self. Just so you know what I've been like....

A) Last Monday I did some more grocery shopping. Going up the stairs to the apartment (with my hands very full btw) I tripped up the stairs....**grumble, grumble, grumble** ... Then,when I managed to get to my floor...I couldn't get the door open with all the stuff in my hands... ** more grumbles** ... I had to set the things down to open the door...**more grumbles** ... then I opened the door, I leaned down to pick up the groceries and the door whacks me in the butt. (not a nice spank...a ...oh my crack hurts kind of whack!) .... **Extremely loud grumbles..ready to bite someones head off kind of grumbles**...I pick up the groceries...THE STINKIN BAG RIPS OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **ARGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!** I'm too mad to think about picking everything up. So I kick the littered groceries down the hall. That's right...I kicked the bloody things! I'm struggling to get my keys out and my best friend hears me...so she comes and opens the door for me. (silly girl) She opens the door to me whipping groceries past her. I actually threw things into the apartment. Those kleenex boxes..They hit the far wall. Even the dogs were afraid to come near me.

B) I watched Dog the Bounty Hunter...I don't usually watch this. MMhmm. I cried. IT'S NOT A SAD SHOW!!!!!! What's with that??

C) I had to call a company last week, the person I had to talk to was in a bit of a mood. So I popped a message to my boss. I said...somebody pee'd in her cornflakes this morning. My boss messages me back....'maybe your vibe is rubbing off on her'. I wrote back to my boss to shut up. (I'm so glad my boss & I can joke around!)

D) At a 4 way stop today, it was my turn to go...since I GOT THERE FIRST!!! WAAAYYY before the other car. (who had another car infront of them when I arrived at the stop) Anyways this Moronic woman decided to run through the stop sign after the person in front of her. So I sped up like I was going to hit her and layed on the horn. I hope I gave her a near heart attack.

Does insurance cover PMS??

62 Odd Questions

2006-09-09T10:35:00.000-04:00

I saw this on Paisley's page, and thought it was an interesting idea. (....so thanks Paisley)

[1] What is your middle name? Melissa

[2] What color is your mailbox: Silver

[3] Last time you kissed someone: Do my puppies count? If so, this morning about 9:00.

[4] Have you ever hit a deer? Close, but no cigar.

5] Do you have to drive over a bridge to get home? Depending on which route I take. 2 ways yes, the other 2 ways, no. ( I have many escape routes...I think they do that in the hood in purpose)

[6] Who checks the mail in your house? Usually me.

7] How many TVs are in your house? 2

[8] Do you know anyone with the same ring tone as you? No clue.

[9] What do you do first in the morning? Grumpily groan, turn off the alarm and then go pee. (pee in the toilet..not in my bed...that would be gross)

[10] What brand is your printer? I don't have one..my roommate does ... it's silver/black

[11] Do you enjoy fighting with people? Sometimes. I don't enjoy fighting with females...but I don't mind fighting with guys. If he's hot, it can get the juices flowing...or I can just want to bash his head into the pavement....it really depends on who I'm fighting with.

[12] Is your hair naturally straight or curly? straight

[13] Who was your kindergarten teacher? No clue....but I think I was in Brockville for Kindergarten...I remember my kindergarten best friend and I 'shared' a boyfriend though. We were such little ho's.

[14] Are you taller than your mother? Yes. Mom is vertically challenged...just like Grandma...and my sister Kim's not far off....I think they are all shrinking.

[15] Do you have a favorite word? Wanker ... chocolate is up there too.

[16] Are you good? Depends on who you ask ;)

[17] What do you do to get over a broken heart? Eat...I'm not fat for nothing!

[18] Do you have a deep dark secret? Unfortunately

[19] Drink of choice: non-alcoholic - water/ ice tea ........ alcoholic - Pina Colada's .... mmmm Pina Colada's. Totally off topic, but, I found a recipe for Bacardi Rum Pina Colada Cake...I can't wait to try that.

[20] Do you enjoy writing in colored pens? Versus what?? I'd prefer a massage....or shoe shopping...but I guess colored pens are cool...if I'm bored.

[21] Does anything on your body hurt? Uh, yeah. I still have last weeks headache, I have a sore back, aching muscles and I'm a big baby!

[22] Do you often cry during movies? Depends on the story and if I'm suffering from PMS.

[23] Do you hate your life? No, just disappointed that I got my wish. Be careful what you wish for. I'm very lucky to have a job I love and a wonderful family/best friend/puppies. It's not all bad...just not what I thought it would be.

[24] Number of pets: 2 chihuahuas.

[25] Are there any animals that scare you? Yup. Sharks, snakes, spiders, cougars...that big foamy mouthed rotweiller that wanted to eat me for a snack..elk in rutting season. Sure Elk may look nice...but you get a horny one and they can get quite nasty! Little hint for tourists...if you see a deer or elk....do NOT try to put your child on it's back for a picture...ESPECIALLY during rutting season!!

[26] Do you get mad easily? No. It takes a lot to get me mad ... then you better look out.

[27] Can't wait for? The time I have enough money to get me out of the stinky, obnoxious, whitetrash neighbourhood I live in. A good man would be nice too. (not counting on it...but It'd be nice)

[28] What is your biggest pet peeve? People with no manners.

[29] Favorite song: I don't have just one. But I'm sure it would be by Cheap Trick. BTW for you who watch Supernova....WHAT THE HELL DID DILANA DO TO THAT CHEAP TRICK SONG????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love Cheap Trick and I've heard several versions of 'I Want You to Want Me'....but I have NEVER hated one until Dilana MURDERED the song. She didn't shoot it...she hacked it to itty bitty bits. I had to mute the t.v. and leave the room...it was that traumatizing for me!!!!!!!!!

[31] Weather outside: humid, a bit cool & overcast

[32] Most attractive quality about you: I get compliments on my eyes and sense of humour.

[33] You're in the mood for? Being thin while eating chocolate and getting a massage. Definately not being here at work.

[34] Do any of your friends have kids? One of them has 2.

[35] If you could have a threesome with any 2 celebrities, who? Umm, I'd never have a threesome. But if I was a hoochie mama, it would include Johnny Depp or Ryan Reynolds or Edgar Ramirez (as Choco in Domino) or Benno Furman or Victor Webster or Jason Statham and a toy of some sort. (notice I say 'or'...not 'and')

[36] Do you have any friends? Yup. But not too many....I don't like many people enough to hang out with them.

[37] Do you have any mean friends? Yup, my best friend...my sister can also be mean. They make fun of me. Does that count as mean?

[38] What is the ugliest color in your opinion? I agree with Paisley... Brown/lime green like baby poo I also hate Pink!

[39] Have you ever liked someone who all your friends couldn't stand? LOL ......Vinny....Keri HATED him!

[40] Have you ever felt like driving off a cliff? Yes and no, I drove so fast in the mountains to see if I could accidently go over the side. That way, if it was kind of an accident...

It just didn't seem so bad if I tried to have an 'accident'

[41] Have you ever been fired from a job? No.

[42] What year was your house built? Possibly 2045? My apartment building is probably over 30 years old.

[43] When was the last time you slept in someone else’s bed? July. I slept in my parents spare bedroom.

[44] What brand are the pant/jeans you're wearing? Beats me...if it fits my booty, I don't care. Probably got these jeans from Zellers or Wallyworld.

[45] How tall are you? 5’4 1/2”

[46] What is the closest green object? My mousepad is a faded dirty green.

[47] What is on your feet? flat, black sandals.

[48] Do you always wear underwear? Most of the time.

[49] Do you want to have kids? I'm not sure. I guess I'll see how I feel after my neices & nephews.

[50] Who is the last person who you would expect to be gay? Me.

[51] Do you know how to draw? Yes, I'm quite good if I do say so myself. My picture of Robin Zander kicks butt! If I had a digital camera..I'd show you...but I don't.

[52] What’s your mother's middle name? Bernice Mary

[53] Stupidest movie you ever saw: Soooooooooo many dumb movies. There are a lot of movies that would tie for that title!

[54] Do you collect comic books? Do I have to answer this one? Ok, fine, I collect Archies. I guess I'm out of the comic book closet.

[55] Do you look like your dad? I think I'm a combo of both parents.

[56] Do you have any TV shows on DVD? Lucy

[57] Are you wearing make up? Nope.

[58] Do you have a tattoo? Not yet.

[59] You win the lottery and you: Depends on how much. If it was lots....I'd pay off mine, my best friends, parents and sisters debt. Then I'd buy myself and parents a house. Pay off my sisters house...and force my best friend to live with me. (muhahaha) Then I'd travel extensively..duh! And I'd donate some to World Vision and my church. That would be the dream.

[60] How many pairs of underwear do you have? Pairs that fit? Or pairs that I own? Pairs that fit....14....pairs total...probably 50.

[61] Are you hungry at the moment? Peckish, but not starvin.

[62] Favorite movie of all time: I don't have a favorite. I'm a sucker for romance, Disney movies (sshhh, don't tell), comedy and action. I'm also starting to get into thrillers.

What Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Flavor Am I?

2006-09-01T10:31:00.000-04:00

You Are The Godfather Ice Cream

Someone crosses you, and they'll end up with a scoop of this in their bed

What Flavor Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Are You?

I am the Godfather....be afraid, be very afraid!

How Quirky Are You?

2006-09-01T10:30:00.000-04:00

Your Quirk Factor: 53%

You're a pretty quirky person, but you're just normal enough to hide it.
Congratulations - you've fooled other people into thinking you're just like them!

How Quirky Are You?

Hmm, what do you have to say about that Kim??

My Mythological Being...

2006-09-01T10:26:00.000-04:00

You Are a Mermaid

You are a total daydreamer, and people tend to think you're flakier than you actually are.
While your head is often in the clouds, you'll always come back to earth to help someone in need.
Beyond being a caring person, you are also very intelligent and rational.
You understand the connections of the universe better than almost anyone else.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

People think I'm a flake????? I'm weird...not flakey!!

U.S ....

2006-08-28T16:18:00.000-04:00

No I'm not bashing the U.S.

I just read a news headline on CBS news.

2 out of 3 Americans do NOT wash their hands.

All I can say is....

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was to lazy to read the whole article. (I am at work after all)

It always disgusts me when I'm in a public washroom and I see people leave without washing their hands. It's so gross. They are probably the same people who would pick their noses and not wash their hands afterwards. I am so glad my mom taught me wash up.

Sometimes...

2006-08-28T13:34:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, I just have to shake my head. That's what I'm doing right now.

A woman named Ms. Li, crashed her car in Hohhot, China. No, she wasn't drinking. No, she didn't fall asleep at the wheel. Are you ready for the reason?????

She was giving her dog a driving lesson. (Yes, you read that right!) According to her, her dog was fond of watching her drive...so she decided to let the dog have a go. Me thinks she needs to go back on her medication. Needless to say, they didn't get far before crashing into an oncoming vehicle.

**still shaking head**

Dumb Newsflash

2006-08-28T10:29:00.000-04:00

Rob Reiner has said that Mel Gibson needs to admit that 'The Passion of the Christ' is Anti-Semitic. As per http://www.showbuzz.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/08/25/people_hot_water/main1936680.shtml

I think that is absolutely ridiculous!! First of all, Mel Gibson has already apologized and has met with Jewish leaders to see how he can make up for some of the hurt he has caused by his drunken comments. Yes, he was wrong. He's admitted it. Second....the movie is not Anti-Semitic! I've seen it. It portrays the story fairly accurately. Jesus was a Jew. The movie isn't about ...oh, look at the Jews they are horrid people. It's about, what Jesus went through. My view of the movie, was that people...not Jews, people...were afraid of him, so they tried to destroy him. Whether or not you believe that Jesus was the Christ, a man named Jesus was cruicified. It's his story. I don't see Germans complaining that 'Schindlers List' is Anti-Germanic. It's a movie depicting a piece of history. It's not about who was right or who was wrong...it's about showing the world our history. Not German, Jewish or Roman history...the world's history!

Get over it and stop trying to play the 'poor me' card.

I'm not as crazy as I thought

2006-08-21T17:27:00.000-04:00

You have a 28% chance of going postal!

Good news! You're not very likely to kill your coworkers. You seem very well adjusted. You rock! Talk about those feelings!

How Likely Are You to Go Postal?
Create Your Own Quiz

Dope

2006-08-17T11:33:00.000-04:00

I don't mean dope as in pot. I mean dope as in idiot. Who's the idiot? That would be me. I've been sick the last few days, so my brain isn't quite up to snuff. I was laying down on the couch with my little princess. She came down and laid on my hip. So I'm petting her, and petting her, and petting her some more. (I'm a cheap brush) And I noticed, a build up of hair around her shoulders. The garbage was simply too far! So I picked the hair up, and dropped it on the floor instead. Sick = lazy. I was fully expecting to vaccuum it up later. However...

It took a full 60 seconds to realize that I had put my glass of orange juice on the floor. hmmm. So I look down, sure enough...either I dropped the dog hair into my orange juice or my ice was growing fur. Ick! But I have a wonderful best friend who went and got me some new orange juice...in a new cup ... sans dog hair.

I'd like to think I learned my lesson ... but I think I know better.

Dare I ask??

2006-07-12T15:08:00.000-04:00

I figure either it was a tackle gone bad .... or they're checking for hemorrhoids.

Either way...I think it'd be quite embarassing for the guy with his shorts down.

Breakfast Quiz

2006-07-12T14:58:00.000-04:00

In the middle of the table is a round food tray with five kinds of Fruits on it.
They are:

a. Apple
b. Banana
c. Strawberry
d. Peach
e. Orange

Which fruit will you choose? Please think VERY carefully and don't rush into it. This is great, I was astounded! Your choice reveals a lot about you!

THE ANSWERS

a. Apple: That means you are a person who loves to eat apples
b. Banana: That means you are a person who loves to eat bananas
c. Strawberry: That means you are a person who loves to eat strawberries
d. Peach: That means you are a person who loves to eat peaches
e. Orange: That means you are a person who loves to eat oranges

I hope you find fulfillment in this new insight about yourself. May it bring you peace and understanding, tranquility and all that other profound stuff.

Also I bet that right now you would like to find me and kick my butt.
Well, You won't find me....because I am still hunting down the person who sent this to me...

Weekend Update.

2006-07-11T10:16:00.001-04:00

So yes it was my birthday weekend. I should clarify some things. The birds I killed...one rebounded off the truck in front of me and then hit me. So technically, I put the poor thing out of it's misery. The second bird...it was horrible!! It decided to take off, just as I was driving by. It flew down just below my hood. I didn't hear a thud..so I thought & was very relieved to think I hadn't killed another bird. Then a second later...the bird flew up over my hood, or rather bits of it and a few loose feathers. I felt sick to my stomach! I'm a bird killer!!! I don't want to be a bird killer!! A spider killer, yes, bird killer no!
It was SOOOO horrible!!!!!!

As for the going the wrong way, down a one way street. In my defense, it was a 2 way to start. Then there was an intersection, and then it apparently went to a one way street. There were no one way signs. Does Quebec not use one way signs?? Thankfully there was a place to turn around.

For the parking lot...I don't have much of a defense on that one. There was construction so they had to reroute everyone. So we're going around and around...and frankly, I was getting dizzy. But the next cement support was somehow in my blindspot. I almost hit it. No excuse on that one...I should have seen it at some point. Maybe I should give the car up and take the bus. Ya think??

Good Things About My Birthday

'Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest' came out on my birthday. That's one heck of a gift. Johnny Depp and a scruffy, long haired Orlando Bloom? Can't really beat that. Unless it's the scene where they rip Orlando's shirt off his back..and they whip him ...so his back is arched and head is back with eyes closed. mmmmmmmmmm...yummy. Now I see why my best friend finds him so attractive.

Italy won the world cup!

I got to spend lots of time with my family..play games and hang out. They all put together a blessings box for me. I was pretty depressed about turning 30. So they put a bunch of comments in a pretty box for me to look at when I get depressed. Then that will cheer me up. Things like... I've never been abducted by aliens, I have the best brother-in-law(gee, I wonder who wrote that one?), I have a car, I've travelled to exotic locations, a family who loves me...etc. I've already thought of a few things to add. I've never had rabies, George W. Bush doesn't run my country, I've never been attacked by cannibals, Italy won the world cup for my birthday. I need to think of some other ones. But at least it's a start. I think the blessings box was a pretty cool idea. There were 30 blessings, for my 30 years of life.

I got to go to the Museum of Civilizations. It was myself, my mom and my best friend. First after my mom peeing 3 times in 7 minutes, (people say I have a small bladder??) we went to the childrens section. That was a lot of fun. I like playing..and apparently so does my mom. I got to be a mummy, and drive a truck in Pakistan...I even got to play with the crane! Crane, as in pick up some parcels with the big crane off the ship and then place them on dry ground. I was the only adult doing it. I had a line up of kids behind me. Those kids sure know how to wheel and deal! I had to make a deal with the kid behind me so I could use the stinkin' crane! But I got to play so that fun. I also got to see the new 'Petra' exhibit. That was amazing. I'd love to go there. Just a tip for people. If you want to take your children to the museum...don't let them run around screaming in the exhibit rooms! In the children's section is one thing...but when adults are trying to watch a movie about the special exhibit..or read the write ups on the exhibits...please keep you kid quiet, or kindly remove them from the exhibit. I just think it's rude to have your child running around screaming while paying adults have come to an exhibit. It just ruins it for everyone. Yes, I am getting old and grumpy.

All in all, it was a great brithday weekend. I'm not too depressed anymore..I figure, I'm 30 and there isn't anything I can do about it. That, totally sucks!

Can I pretend I'm still 29?

Birthday Girl

2006-07-11T10:05:00.000-04:00

This past weekend was my birthday weekend. To be more exact..Friday was my birthday. I think it is either the start to a very scarey year...or perhaps very scarey decade.

By Saturday...I had:

*Killed 2 birds with my car
*Gone the wrong way down a one way street
*Almost hit a big cement support in the mall parking lot.

I think the rest of the world may want to watch out!! Be very, very scared!!

Plus I wore the "It's my birthday..Wanna Spank Me?" pin all day on Friday...and I didn't get spanked by one stranger!! Weird North Americans! If I had been in Italy...I'm almost positive my bottom would be sore with all the slaps to by booty.

The pin btw was from my best friends mother. I think she knows me too well. My best friend was a bit embarrassed because I wore it to the museum, and to a poshish restaurant, the grocery store, gas station and to the movie theatre. I think I'll have to wear that pin on every birthday from now on.

I guess they don't call it the dirty 30's for nothing :D

YAAAAAAAAAAA BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-07-11T09:53:00.000-04:00

As most of the world knows, Italy (the best & hottest team ever) has won the World Cup. I'm like a proud momma. My team won! Now if only I could have been in Rome when the team came home. Now that would have been awesome!!!

Good way for Zidane to go out though. Just proving to the world what a shmuck he is. What an excellent note to end your career on. People were suprised he head butted an Italian player in the chest?? Does no one remember him stomping on the back of a Saudi Arabian?? He's just not a very nice person, and seriously lacks good sportsmanship.

But back to my Italian team...We're all SOOO proud of you! You played awesome and what stamina.....

I'm definately looking forward to the European cup...and only another 4 years to go until the next World Cup. I've started counting down already.

Ben Stein & Anne Graham

2006-07-04T14:25:00.000-04:00

I just had to post this...I beleive what this says whole heartedly. This is an email I received and I felt the need to share it.
___________________________________________________________

If they know of him at all, many folks think Ben
Stein is just a quirky actor/comedian who talks in a
monotone. He's also a very intelligent attorney who
knows how to put ideas and words together in such a
way as to sway juries and make people think clearly.
The following was written by Ben Stein and recited
by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary, Sunday,
12/18/05.

Herewith at this happy time of year, a few
confessions from my beating heart: I have no
freaking clue who Nick and Jessica are. I see them
on the cover of People and Us constantly when I am
buying my dog biscuits and kitty litter. I often ask
the checkers at the grocery stores. They never know
who Nick and Jessica are either. Who are they? Will
it change my life if I know who they are and why
they have broken up? Why are they so important?

I don't know who Lindsay Lohan is either, and I do
not care at all about Tom Cruise's wife.

Am I going to be called before a Senate committee
and asked if I am a subversive? Maybe, but I just
have no clue who Nick and Jessica are.

If this is what it means to be no longer young.
It's not so bad.

Next confession:
I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors
was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little
bit when people call those beautiful lit up,
bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel
threatened. I don't feel discriminated against.
That's what they are: Christmas trees.

It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, "Merry
Christmas" to me. I don't think they are slighting
me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact,
I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers
and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It
doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger
scene on display at a key intersection near my beach
house in Malibu. If people want a crèche, it's
just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred
yards away.

I don't like getting pushed around for being a
Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting
pushed around for being Christians. I think people
who believe in God are sick and tired of getting
pushed around, period. I have no idea where the
concept came from that America is an explicitly
atheist country. I can't find it in the
Constitution, and I don't like it being shoved down
my throat.

Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the
idea come from that we should worship Nick and
Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we
understand Him?

I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too.

But there are a lot of us who are wondering where
Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we
knew went to.

___________________________________________________

In light of the many jokes we send to one another
for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not
intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended
to get you thinking.

Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the
Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her "How could God
let something like this Happen?" (regarding Katrina)

Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and
insightful response. She said, "I believe God is
deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for
years we've been telling God to get out of our
schools, to get out of our government and to get out
of our lives.

And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has
calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us
His blessing and His protection if we demand He
leave us alone?"

In light of recent events...terrorists attack,
school shootings, etc. I think it started when
Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body
found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in
our schools, and we said OK.

Then someone said you better not read the Bible in
school . the Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou
shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself.
And we said OK.

Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank
our children when they misbehave because their
little personalities would be warped and we might
damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed
suicide). We said an expert should know what he's
talking about. And we said OK.

Now we're asking ourselves why our children have
no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong,
and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers,
their classmates, and themselves.

Probably, if we think about it long and hard
enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a
great deal to do with "WE REAP WHAT WE SOW."

Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and
then wonder why the world's going to hell.

Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but
question what the Bible says.

Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and
they spread like wildfire but when you start sending
messages regarding the Lord, people think twice
about sharing.

Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles
pass freely through cyberspace, but public
discussion of God is suppressed in the school and
workplace.

Are you laughing?

Funny how when you forward this message, you will
not send it to many on your address list because
you're not sure what they believe, or what they will
think of you for sending it.

I wish I had a digital camera

2006-06-28T14:23:00.000-04:00

Ok..so I'm at work...right now.

A group of punk/goth kids just walked by.

The one closest to the window was all in black...and had a contraption...made to look like a big, fat, long, raccoon tail sticking out from his butt.

I was just killing myself laughing!!

WAY too funny! I wish I could show you a picture.

Kids are so weird these days!!

Does that make me sound old?

I'm my worst enemy!

2006-06-28T12:29:00.000-04:00

So Sunday right after church...Keri & I went to Starbucks. I almost ordered the right thing this time. I always have to have Keri around...because she's the only one who can seem to say it right. I think coffee places have way too many options...non-fat, no foam, sugar-free...etc. It's a good thing I don't drink coffee...it'd probably take me 10 minutes to decide my options and relay that in words.

Anyways...I ordered a Passion tea lemonade with a shot of raspberry (I think). I like to good off a bit...as anyone who knows me can attest too. So while I'm waiting for my drink, I spot the container full of still-wrapped straws. So I grab one, rip the top off and proceed to put the still 1/2 covered straw into my mouth. I like to blow the rest of the paper off the end of the straw. I managed that...however...I was a good..albeit stupid girl. I pick up my litter. I crumple it up and am about to deposit that in my purse (don't ask me why) and I managed to hit the end of the straw. The straw was in my mouth. :( That bloody thing smacked right up into the roof of my mouth!! I didn't know it was possible to make a hole in the roof of my mouth.

Don't you just love the taste of blood? (*dry heave*)

I'm sure people thought it was a bit strange seeing a girl with a napkin hanging out of her mouth.

But then again, they don't know me very well. If anyone can do something strange/stupid....it's probably me.

Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

2006-06-20T18:00:00.000-04:00

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almostinstantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be too afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD40 and Duct Tape.If it doesn't move and should, use the WD40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember:Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

Pics from Sriracha Tiger Zoo in Thailand.

2006-06-16T10:15:00.000-04:00

First I'd like to say that if you received an email about a California Tigress who adopted some Piglets.....that is completely false. The Pictures were actually taken at the Sriracha Tiger Zoo, near Bangkok. Sriracha Tiger zoo is first opened for tourists on April 23, 1997. It is situated at no. 341 Moo 3, Nongkham Sub-district, Sriracha District, Chonburi Province, with the area of more than 100 acres. The zoo consists of more than 200 Bengal tigers and 100,000 crocodiles. In addition to various kinds of animals, it also provides many activities for tourists to enjoy. As it happens, this sort of intermingling of species is not at all unusual at the Sriracha Tiger Zoo, where "creating successful relationships with animals of different species" is something of a guiding principle. The facility, more accurately described as part zoo and part circus, boasts offbeat attractions like basketball-playing elephants, "lady crocodile wrestlers," and a petting zoo where customers can bottle-feed baby tigers with their own bare hands. Visitors have reported seeing tigers, pigs, and dogs all housed together within the same enclosure, with sows nursing tiger cubs and tigresses nursing piglets "adorned in tiger-print costumes."

The costumes are strictly for show, by the way. The mother tiger pictured above, who has been photographed on other occasions suckling piglets au naturel, was herself nursed by a pig in infancy and apparently regards the other species as family, not prey. (had to put in a picture of the crocodile people too)

I haven't been here, but I thought the concept was pretty cool. I guess their theory is right. If an animal is kept properly fed, you don't have to worry about him/her looking at their playmates as food. :P

A Friday Funny

2006-06-16T10:07:00.000-04:00

George Bush decides to speak at a primary school, to do a bit of P.R.

After speaking for a while, he asks the children if there are any
questions.

One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name.

"Stanley," responds the little boy.

"And what is your question, Stanley?"

"I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support
of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?

And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"

Just then, the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that
they will continue after recess.

When they resume George says, "OK, where were we?

Oh, that's right: question time. Who has a question?"

Another little boy puts up his hand. George points

him out and asks him his name. "Bobby," he responds.

"And what is your question, Bobby?"

"Actually, I have 5 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without
the support of the UN? Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more
votes? Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?

Fourth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? And fifth, what
the hell happened to Stanley?

Anubis, My Weird Dog.

2006-06-15T10:17:00.000-04:00

So I have 2 adorable (but bratty) chihuahuas. The Female, Kiya, LOVES vegetables. When she sees you cutting up lettuce in the kitchen ... she goes absolutely nutty! She'll jump at me trying to knock the lettuce out of my hand...and whine, and beg and stand up with her paws against my leg. She acts like it's a T-Bone steak. The only thing she loves more than lettuce is brussel sprouts.

Anubis on the other hand, HATES vegetables. Lettuce, carrots, corn ... etc. But LOVES meat! Which is probably why Anubis is quite a bit chunkier than Kiya.

Yesterday, was my best friends birthday. So for breakfast, I made her sausage, hasbrowns, vegetable omelette (ok..it was more of a scramble because I can never flip that bloody thing properly) and tea. I thought I would try an experiment with Anubis. He likes eggs, and cheese. So I gave him a piece of egg scramble that had cheese on it...and a little piece of asparagus in the middle. (hee hee) He grabbed that out of my hand and straight into his mouth. He seemed to enjoy the egg...until he found the piece of asparagus. You know how baby's use their tongue to spit out things when they don't like something?? That was Anubis. blech, blech, blech. He looked so disgusted. I got that look from him...Maaaaaaaahmm....how could you do that to me??? A vegetable??? Do I look like a vegetarian to you???

I guess my experiment failed.

At least he will eat chunks of tomato. But only after a few licks, which remind him that a tomato is actually a fruit ... not a vegetable.

I guess it's back to the drawing board. I WILL get him to eat his veggies! I just need to find a better trick.

Laws of the Universe

2006-06-14T14:07:00.000-04:00

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)

Law of the Bath: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.

Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law:As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it

My Hidden Talent?

2006-05-30T10:29:00.000-04:00

Your Hidden Talent

You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system.
And while this may not seem big, it can be.
It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes.
You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

You Know You Grew Up In The 80's Or Early 90's If:

2006-05-26T15:56:00.000-04:00

(The red asteriks are for the ones that apply to me)

1. *You've ever ended a sentence with the word "SIKE"
2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
3. *You can sing the rap to the "Fresh Prince of Belair" and can do the"Carlton".
4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.
6. *You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
7. *You know that "WHOA " comes from Joey on Blossom.
8. Two words: Hammer Pants
9. *If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock"
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars... and "spokey-dokes" or playing cards on your spokes for that incredible sound effect.
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales "
12. *It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles " on the big screen...and still know the turtles names.
15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
17. You played the game "MASH " (Mansion, Apartment,Shelter,House)
18. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
19. *L.A. Gear....need I say more?
20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM " in Kindergarten. (She's truly outrageous.)
21. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing" and all the Ramona books.
22. *You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"
23. *You wanted to be a Goonie.
24. *You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us...head-to-toe)
25. *You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.
26. *You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
27. You took lunch boxes to school... and traded Garbage Pail Kids in the schoolyard.
28. You remember er the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets.
29. *You still get the urge to say "NOT " after every sentence (sometimes I still say NOT)
30. *You remember Hyper color t-shirts.
31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
32. *You thought She-ra (Princess of Power!) and He-Man should hook up.
33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade braided friendship bracelets. (GIMP)
34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes. (and like #24,probably in neon colors, too)
35. *After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
36. *You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"
37. *You remember going to the roller skating rink before there were inline skates.
38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
40. *You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds and had the time of your life!
41. *You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.
42. *You remember "Popples".
43. *"Don't worry, be happy"
44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.
45. *You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do...and get yelled at by "younger hip" members of the family)
46. You remember boom boxes..and walking around with one on your
shoulder like you were all that.
47. *You remember watching both "Gremlins " movies.
48. *You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"
49. *You remember watching "Rainbow Bright", "My Little Pony", "Hammy Hamster" and The Green Forest" (Just 'The Green Forest')
50. You thought Doogie Howser was hot. (okay....ick!)
51. *You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
52. *You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool...
53. *You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"
54. *You know all the words to Bon Jovi - SHOT THROUGH THE HEART.
55. *You just sang those words to yourself.
56. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.
57. Homemade Levi shorts.. (the shorter the better)
58. You remember when mullets were cool! (mullets were NEVER cool..imo)
59. You had a mullet
60. You still sing "We are the World"
61. You tight rolled your jeans.
62. *You owned a banana clip
63. *You remember "Where's the Beef?"
64. *You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' about Willis?"
65. *You had big hair and you knew how to use it.
66. *You're still singing "shot through the heart" in your head, aren't you!!!
67. *You thought Punky Brewster was soooo cool!
68. You did the "Bart Man"
69. *Ice Ice Baby...do do do do dobe do do
70. *Your Scratch and Sniff sticker collection was your most valuable possession.
71. You safety pinned you pants!!
72. Hammer Time!!
73. Raiders vs Bulls
74. *Your remember the ORIGINAL Nintendo system!! GO MARIO!! (why, oh why can't they put this on game cube??)
75. *You wanted to be "Baby" in Dirty Dancing!!! (but only because she got the bad boy in leather)

The World is Sad

2006-05-05T11:46:00.000-04:00

I find myself very disappointed in me today. ... and very close to tears. Last night, I watched ER. This episode took place in Darfur. Yes, I realize that this is a t.v. show, however, what they portrayed is VERY real. I know things are bad in other parts of the world. The words 'bad', 'horrible', 'tragic' ... none of these words seem strong enough to describe the conditions in the world. I cannot claim ingorance on this issue. I knew that there was a genocide in Sudan. That children in Uganda walk up to 10km's at night to a compound to sleep, all for safety's sake. In Uganda, children need to make this nightly commute so that the boys are not murdered and the girls are not gang raped or murdered. I know these things happen. I am guilty of ignoring the situation. Not really ignoring, but not doing anything. Sure, I support a child through World Vision...but that doesn't seem enough. It's just a monthly payment. I want to make a difference! What can I do??? I want to know. How can I, one person, make a difference? It's not a rhetorical question, I really want to know! Seeing ER last night, inspired me to search for information on the situation in Darfur. I came across an article, and I urge anyone who is reading this to go to the following website

http://www.darfurgenocide.org/news2.php?article=News/nytimes.htm

If this news article and these pictures don't move you, you need to seriously take a look at yourself. I've said for quite a while, that if you know about abuse and you don't help to stop it...then you are just as guilty of abuse as the first hand abuser. I know I for one, do not want to be guilty of not helping to stop abuse.

I encourage anyone who is reading to do something, anything to help stop the attrocities that are happening right now, not just in Sudan but around the world...our world.

I know it's high time I started trying to make a difference.

Thirteen Names I Would NEVER name my son.

2006-05-04T08:42:00.000-04:00

1)Jesus - As far as I'm concerned that name was taken by Jesus Christ. It would just feel wrong to me.

2)Englebert - this is just plain cruel.

3)Alice - or anything that sounds girlie...Kim, Marion, Ashley...etc.

4)Oliver - sorry Felix

5)Satan - a couple in Asia named their son Satan. There was a big uproar about this a couple of years ago. I won't name my kid, Satan, Lucifer or anything evil sounding...I don't plan on raising the Anti-Christ!!!

6)Donald - This name makes me think of either Donald Duck or Donald Trump.

7)DeShawn - or any made up names for that matter!

8)Gaius...just say it...you know you want to. This is a Welsh name...but it's still cruel. This kid would get teased without mercy.

9)Horatio - yes, people still name their child this. (very English)

10)George - It just sounds like an old man. I would however name my chimpanzee George.

11)Oscar - my son will be neither a fish nor a weiner.

12)Orville - Sorry Grandpa (or was Grampie Erville?) Either way...not happening. It makes me think of popcorn. hmmm, speaking of popcorn...I suddenly started craving it.

13)Yanni - the name is just about as boring as the musician.

Money Makes People Act Stupid

2006-05-03T12:27:00.000-04:00

I just heard something that really angered me! My co-workers, uncle (soon-to-be-uncle-in-law)owned 100 acres of land. This land has been in his family for 200 years and the uncle whom we'll call 'bob' has a farm on this land. Bob is a really nice guy and only has 1 child...a son. Instead of waiting to put it in his will, Bob gave his son the 100 acres. Bob's son is NOT in financial difficulties. He and his wife both work full-time and the son...whom we'll call jerk-off...receives 2000/month from his uncles estate. Personally...2000/month would have me laughing!! That's a lot of money...more than I make in a month! Now, Bob expected his son, jerk-off to sell a couple plots of land. However, Jerk-off sold the whole 100 acres. Sold it all!! Land that has been in his family for 200 years and he didn't even keep a bit for his children. Real nice!! But this isn't the worst. Jerk-off never arranged for grazing rights for his father's farm. Bob, who owned the whole 100 acres...now has to rent land...the land he owned in the 1st place. Incredible. I'd hire someone to shoot out my kids' knee caps!
What a selfish, self-centered Jackass!!!!

I hope that one day...his kids screw him over the way he has screwed over his loving, generous father.

What goes around, comes around.

I Love Cats

2006-05-03T12:13:00.000-04:00

(a little something I got in my email this morning)

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head.

The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."

You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!" But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button.

It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth.

It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.

I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome.

Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics.

Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter...and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.

"What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?" If they only knew! Why is it that only the women laugh at this?

What's Your Stripper Song?

2006-05-02T16:33:00.000-04:00

Your Stripper Song Is

Closer by Nine Inch Nails

"You let me violate you, you let me desecrate you
You let me penetrate you, you let me complicate you
Help me I broke apart my insides, help me I?ve got no
Soul to tell"

When you dance, it's a little scary - and a lot sexy.

What Song Should You Strip To?

13 Places I've lived.

2006-04-27T13:40:00.000-04:00

1)Calgary (twice)

2)Canmore

3)Slave Lake

4)Whitecourt (horid,horid place)

5)Ottawa

6)Brighton (twice)

7)Belleville

8)Brockville (2 or 3 times...I think)

9)Prescott (Have you ever had a pizza complete with shad flies)

10)Kingston (K-Town baby!)

11)Wilton (cheese factory has awesome squeeky cheese curds)

12) Harlowe (where your mom's your dad and your dad's your brother)

13)Lyn

My Mini Road Trip

2006-04-27T13:19:00.000-04:00

So yesterday I had to drive to Brockville. My co-worker who usually works at that office was still feeling a bit sick and couldn't go. Her head was feeling a bit foggy and that doesn't make for good driving. (She's pregnant and we don't want her taking any chances) So my boss loaned me her car to get to Brockville. Sounds easy enough right?

Wrong!

I work downtown Kingston, so I figure the quickest way would be to go over the scarey bridge and take the next exit to the 401. I say scarey bridge...mainly because I have this irrational fear of driving on bridges over water. But it's also a metal grate bridge that lifts for boats to pass under. So when you're driving over the bridge, it's REALLY noisy. I usually like to open my window when driving on a bridge over water. You never know...the bridge could malfunction and swallow my car up and drown me while trapped in the car!

Anyways...

I took the turn off that I swore said '401 this way'. So I'm driving.....and driving...and driving...going through construction...driving some more...crap! there is farm land around me! I haven't seen any signs advertising the 401! Am I going to Smith Falls? Where am I going? I don't have a map and I don't know where in the world I am heading!!! Red neck country? Are there inbreeders??? So I decided to play it safe...I turn around and go back the way I came. Back through the construction and turn left onto #2 highway. I look at the other side of the road...and it points to the direction I just came from and says '401 this way'. BLOODY HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Screw it! I'm just going to go on hwy 2 until I come to the next cut off. I get trapped behind a stinkin' yellow bus. Putt...putt...putt...putt. Dude...gas is the peddle on the right. Do the flamin' speed limit!!!! Then the bus turns off and I get some truck with a trailer attached to it's behind. Trees laying in the back of the trailer were waving at me...taunting me! Lucky I didn't have a chain saw! This guy isn't doing the speed limit either. I AM LATE!!!! I decide to pass.....

I'm going over 100 .... slightly over the speed limit of 80. I'm on the opposite side of the road...

I see a sign ... '401 this way'.

CRAP!

Slam on the brakes!!! SCREEEEEEEECH!!! Turn the corner....mad woman on the loose boys! I just barely made that turn. I thought I would end up in that farmers field. Driving by farmland again...but I don't care...I'm driving until I find that stinkin 401 hwy. Finally I find it. WOOO HOOOOO!!!!! Now I know where I'm going. I thought that would be the end of my adventures for the day.

Um no...

I get to the office and decide to go pee before I open the office. Especially knowing the size of my bladder. (Let's just say it's small) I start to unbutton my pants....

PING....

My button goes flying and hits the opposite wall. You have got to be kidding me!!!!!!!! It's a good thing my pants had an inside button as backup. Thank you Mr. designer man!

Oh yeah, by the way...on my return travel, I decided to take the exit that I had screwed up so badly. That would be the 1st one that I couldn't find. Turns out I was only 1 1/2 minutes away from the 401 on my original trip.

Oh well,

I know for next time.

My Bosses 50th Birthday

2006-04-25T09:50:00.000-04:00

Everyone in our office loves 'The Amazing Race', including my boss Cathy. So for her 50th birthday, her family & friends had a suprise for her. To mark this momentous occasion she was suprise with 'Cathy's Amazing Race'. This was of course a complete suprise to Cathy. Just after lunch, her children, best friend and a large handful of friends; kidnapped her from work. She was totally shocked! She was escorted around in a convertible with posters attached to the sides announcing her birthday and her desire to party till the cows come home. Her race was as follows:

1)Drive to the local Radio Station (K-Rock) and announce her 50th birthday on air.

2)Cathy was taken to the Gananoque Casisno and given $5.00. In order to get her next clue she had to double her money on the nickle slot machines. (she's good at this)

3)Next clue takes us to Regiopolis Catholic School. Cathy's daughter is a teacher there and used to be on a cheerleading squad. So the cheerleading squead agreed to a little performance. Cathy had to name the moves that the cheerleaders were doing in order to get her next clue.

4)This pit stop is located at Sizzle (restaurant/bar). Her task here is to learn how to make a drink from the bartender. It has to meet the bartenders ok, before she is allowed the rest. (rest = sit down and have some drinks)

5)Off to Chapters. Cathy belongs to a book club. The next clue would be in one of the books that she has read from the book club. You would think this would take a while..checking all those different books. Right? Wrong! She found the clue in the first book she opened. Talk about a horseshoe up her butt.

6)On to Petcetera to find someone she knows that has her next clue. This person just happened to be her dog Buffy.

7)Had to take Buffy home. Then off to her suprise party at Raxx bar & grill.

What an awesome way to celebrate your 50th! The only thing it was missing was BJ & Tyler.

Another Funny

2006-04-25T09:39:00.000-04:00

Four men went golfing one day : three headed to the first tee and one went into the club house to take care of the bill. The three men started talking, bragging about their sons.

The first man told the others, " My son is a home builder and he's so successful that he gave a friend a new home - - for free."

The second man said, "My son was a car salesman and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend two Cadillacs."

The third man, not wanting to be outdone bragged, "My son is a stock brocker and he's doing so well that he gave his friend an entire stock portfolio.

The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?" The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay. I'm not totally thrilled about it, but he must be good. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, two cars, and a stock portfolio."

Don't Underestimate Blondes

2006-04-25T09:33:00.000-04:00

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy-efficient kinds. Yesterday, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining about the windows he had installed a whole year ago and I had never paid for them yet.

Hellloooo? Now just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am stupid. So I told him just exactly what his fast-talking sale guy had told ME last year... namely, that in just ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves! Helllooooo"? (I told him). "It's been a year"!

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up.... He hasn't called back, probably too embarrassed about forgetting the guarantee they made me.

Bet he won't underestimate a blond anymore. Duh!

Pepper

2006-04-21T09:37:00.000-04:00

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, and then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, and then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before.

Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you ok?"

"I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."

The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"

The woman nodded, "Pepper."

Thirteen Things I Love About Travel

2006-04-20T12:34:00.000-04:00

1)Time off work.

2)Experiencing new Cultures.

3)Trying different foods. Things that you would probably never try at home, like Morroccan Chicken Tagine. Or maybe things that you can't find in your home town. Like fresh, Italian pizza. Completely different than what you get in North America. The Italian pizza is very basic yet has SO much more flavor!

4)The feeling of being alive (travel seems to inspire that)

5)The museums. The Vatican museum, Louvre, Royal Ontario Museum, Petrie museum, British museum, Hermitage, etc. So much to choose from.

6)Visiting World famous Art Galleries. Europe if full of Renaissance art, which is my favorit.

7)The Man-made attractions (Eiffel tower, Roman Forum, Cathedrals, etc.)

8)The natural beauty of each country. Mountains, meadows, oceans, rivers, hoodoos,etc. It's all beautiful.

9)The casual pace. It seems that only on vacation people take the time to just slow themselves down,listen, and watch. Listening to the Caribbean frogs that sound like metallic crickets or hearing the breeze rustling the leaves on the trees. Taking the time to people watch. Or at night watching the reflections of the city lights and the moonlight dancing on the water. The fresh scent of lilac's floating gently on a sultry breeze.

10)The male scenery. It's always fun dating in foreign countries. Act as crazy as you want on a date...and it won't get back to your local 'grape vine'. Plus if he does think you're crazy...at least you won't have to see him again.

11)The souveniers & trinkets. It's like having a piece of the country in your home. A colorful wooden lizard hanging on the wall, a Venetian mask, Papyrus from Egypt.

12)Travelling with family/friends. It can bring you closer together. One of my favorite trips was to Mexico with my mother. It gave us time to bond and get to know each other better. Memories that will link us together. (I'm definately looking forward to the cruise with my sister, her husband & my best friend!!)

13)The memories. Something that can never be taken away. Yours to keep forever!

What a HUGE relief!!

2006-04-20T11:41:00.000-04:00

Yes, I am a huge fan of the Amazing Race. (except for the stupid family edition) Last night's episode was a very tense one. My throat still hurts from screaming. Yay for the older couple, who finally managed to come in first! (I still think it should have been BJ & Tyler..but anyhoo) How beautiful was that first camel??!! I think she was gorgeous and should be named Princess. Bloody frat boys banged her elbow...I wish 'Princess' could and would have kicked them for that. Yes, I know I get off topic easily.

The last bit was so frustrating. I was sure that the Hippies would be last. Poor BJ just had no luck, but the sweetie Tyler was still encouraging him and not yelling. (Cudo's for that) So it's down to the last 45 seconds...the stupid, rude frat boys are in lost. (YAY!) And the hippies are on their way to the check-in point. Imagine my shock & horror when the stinkin' frat boys were the ones to check in first. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Keri and I both scream at the same time! BLOODY WANKERS!!!!!

And then BJ & Tyler come in .....last. :( I was so sure that they would be eliminated. Imagine my joy when Phil said that it was a non-elimination round!! Keri and I were yelling our approval and relief. (I'm sure my neighbours were annoyed...but I don't like them...so poo on them)

I've discovered something about myself that is quite scarey. But you need to understand something about me. A) I don't like blonde, red, or even strawberry hair on men...brown or black is a must. B) I prefer Italians. C)I like men who wear normal clothes.
Imagine my suprise when watching Amazing race, and I realized that I no longer find the nipple pierced frat boy attractive. Rather the opposite reaction now...I find him ugly thanks to his personality. The sight of him makes me want to smack him upside the head. Imagine my even BIGGER suprise, when I discovered that I'm starting to find Tyler attractive! ME????? He's sweet, funny, weird, supportive, respectful and encourages his friend even when I'm sure he wants to yell instead. I would totally date him! What is happening to me?? Is this maturity???? Totally weird man!

Which leader are you?

2006-04-17T17:04:00.000-04:00

I'm not sure how I managed this one!!
Sexual options?? I think this test had a flaw...because that doesn't sound like me. Thrill seeker yes...slutty...no.

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Monday Memories

2006-04-17T12:25:00.000-04:00

I was living in Wilton, Ontario. It's a minature version of a village. Blink and it's gone kind of place. But it has a amazing cheese factory that sells the most amazing squeaky cheese curds. We had a big dog named Spanky. At least I think he was big. I was a kid...so maybe he just seemed really big. It could have been a medium sized dog for all I know. However, I am POSITIVE that it was NOT a chihuahua sized dog! Anyways, I was a rather mean child. I liked to mercilessly tease this poor pooch.

I would tease, and tease and tease some more. Then Spanky would jump onto me and push me over.

I can still hear my sister's words ringing in my ears, while calling for my dad..my rescuer.

DAAAADDDDD!!!! SPANKY'S STANDING ON TAMMY AGAIN!!

Well....

I suppose I deserved it.

Peanut Butter Not So Yummies

2006-04-17T11:59:00.000-04:00

I like peanut butter ... and ... I like rice krispie squares. So I like to mix some peanut butter into the melting margarine when making rice krispie squares. Very Yummy. My sister loves these! (so does everyone I make them for) So for Easter dinner, I told her I would bring some squares for her. Made everything as per my version of the recipe. Which has ALWAYS turned out. That is, at least until this weekend. I had some extra marshmellows in the pantry. So I decided to add them to make the rice krispies extra chewy. However, the extra marshmellows were going a bit stale. I figured if I melted them, it wouldn't matter. Apparently it DOES matter. I could have sold these rice krispies as weapons! Holy hard batman! My sister still ate two of them. I'm not sure how in the world she swallowed them. Probably with a ton of saliva and a jaw of steel. Kim...remind me never to tell you to 'bite me' again.

What Color is Your Lucky Underwear?

2006-04-11T14:49:00.000-04:00

Your Lucky Underwear is Blue

You are caring and extroverted. You've made relationships your number one focus, and your lucky blue underwear can bring some balance to them.
You thrive in one-on-one situations. You are a good listener and a natural born therapist.

Sometimes you let the concerns of others become too important in your life, leading to stress and worry.
If you want more balance, put on your blue underpants. They'll help you take care of yourself first.

What Color Is Your Lucky Underwear?

OUCH!

2006-04-11T14:40:00.000-04:00

Ok. So I'm doing pretty lousy at this weight loss thing. And boy, do I mean lousy! But I'm still not giving up. When I lost weight the first time, I did a lot of strength training. So I decided that I was going to try to do that. So on Sunday, I decided to do the lower body and my abs. You are supposed to do 3 sets of each exercise. (not to be confused with reps) I remember this being a LOT easier!!! I only managed to do 2 sets of the lower body....and only 1/2 of the exercises. And for the abs, I did all the exercises...but only 1 rep. I sure remember this being a lot easier! Needless to say...yesterday I was walking around and feeling muscles that I forgot I owned. Do I really have muscles in my inner thighs and down by my kneecaps??? Muscle in my hips??? Who would have thought! I guess I must...because they all ache. And my stomach......

I love laughing....and it hurt yesterday to laugh. I had to throw things at my co-worker because she kept making me laugh. What a little brat! She thought it was quite funny. Which it is of course...but I'm not about to tell her that.

So tonight I'll try to do some more of that 'strength' training. Maybe by next month, I'll be able to wrestle my chihuahua and win 8)

I've been thinking ... if I ever get 'in the money', I'll definately get a personal trainer. Male of course. At least I'll be guaranteed some pleasant scenery while working out. Maybe even that cutie marine/navy guy with the form-fitting pants I saw yesterday. hmmm. It definately makes a girl think. ;)

Word Associations

2006-04-06T14:42:00.000-04:00

Desire :: want
Sleep :: deprivation
Lost :: found
2006 :: 30
Pump :: hump
Space :: hog
Stuck :: mud Reference:: books
Birth:: day
Hand:: finger

Who's Your Daddy?

2006-04-05T10:30:00.000-04:00

Your Daddy Is Johnny Depp

What You Call Him: Old Man

Why You Love Him: He gives good spankings

Who's Your Daddy?

Mmmmmmmmm, Yes PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What Kind of a Seducer Are You?

2006-04-05T10:10:00.000-04:00

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.

You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?

You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Personality Quiz ....

2006-04-03T17:20:00.000-04:00

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.
You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.

You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.
Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.

You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.
Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.

In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.

At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.

As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.

On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

Amazing Race

2006-03-22T10:57:00.000-05:00

I must say that this is the best Amazing Race Ever!! Before it started... I thought that I wouldn't like the hippies. I must say that they are Hands Down, my absolute favorites!!! I love the way they take a moment and appreciate what they see. Unlike most they show respect and appreciation for what they are so privledged to see. And after last night..I'm completely in love with them. (in a totally non-love kind of way) I just about killed myself laughing when the guy said he needed to find a change room because he wasn't wearing any underwear. Even my boss thought that was hilarious! And right when I saw the Father Christmas/Sinter Klaas guy in Munich at the pit stop and said he looked like santa. The hippie pounces on the mat and shouts "SANTA". I just cracked up laughing! I guess great minds think alike. This was an awesome episode...I really wish I was in the race....smashing bottles over peoples heads...fast cars on a closed course...Russian men. And the cute drunk German in the middle of the day.(At least he knew he was too drunk to drive..very applaudable) It just had me laughing the whole episode. How about the German who said the ladies get more attractive with the more beer you drink??!! That was too funny!

What about the stinkin' frat boys? I used to think the one guy with the nipple rings was kinda cute...and now I just think he's a loser. I'd rather tongue Lenny the Apprentice anyday. (Could be that bloody accent!!) Phil always looks so disgusted with those frat boys...and who could blame him. If one of those 2 frat rats came near my daughter....I'd geld him! I also don't like Lake and his woman...they are SOOOO rude!! And I wanted to smack him through the t.v. when he said he was hoping he wouldn't have to go to Russia. Why not?? And he's rude to the locals. I'd smack him stupid...but he's already there. And anyways....what's wrong with Russia?????? It's a beautiful country!! (And as I've said before...it has Russian men...men who aren't afraid to act like men!) Maybe that's why Lake didn't want to go to Russia...he was afraid for his wife to see what a real man was like! (hehe)

My Best Friend is E.V.I.L

2006-03-21T20:35:00.000-05:00

This is my best friends Evil test....even more evil than my brother-in-law. Now that is a scarey thought!! Guess you better take the test again Bill.

You Are 68% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.
Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

How Evil Are You?

2006-03-21T14:35:00.000-05:00

You Are 40% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.
In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

Answer to Yesterdays Psych Test

2006-03-21T14:16:00.000-05:00

Answer:

She was hoping that the guy would appear at the funeral again.

If you answered this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous American Psychologist used to test if one has the same mentality as a killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the question correctly. If you didn't answer the question correctly good for you. If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off of my email list unless that will tick you off, then I'll just be extra nice to you from now on.

Psych Test

2006-03-21T14:13:00.000-05:00

I'll post the correct answer to this test tommorrow.

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met this guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing, so much her dream guy she believed him to be just that! She fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister. Question: What is her motive in killing her sister? (Give this some thought before you answer).

Confessions On A Dancefloor

2006-03-21T12:32:00.000-05:00

Did I get the album title right Kim?? If I don't get it right...I'm SURE you'd let me know!! My sister is a bit of a Madonna Fanatic..hence her blog title. Anyways when I visited my sister this past weekend, she lent me her newest Madonna CD. (But only because she had a spare) I wasn't sure what I'd think, and I have to say I was quite impressed. I thought the song 'Hung Up' would be my favorite...but not so. My favorite song on that Album would have to be 'Jump'. It has a great beat that just makes me want to get up and dance. My body can't stay still when that song comes on!

Yet another success for Madonna.

Go Madonna!! Good music...hot English husband...you go girl!!

Canadian Women Rock!!

2006-03-20T12:57:00.000-05:00

Here's a little joke for today.

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new
wives "duties".

Terry had married a woman from America, and bragged that he had told his
wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed
done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day
he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

Jimmie had married a woman from Australia. He bragged that he had given his
wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He
told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it
was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the
dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Canadian girl. He boasted that he told her that
her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed,
laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first
day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by
the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he
could see a little out of his left eye - enough to fix himself a bite to
eat, load the dishwasher, and call a landscaper.

God Bless Canadian Women!

A Sister's Weekend

2006-03-20T11:53:00.000-05:00

I am totally knackered!!! (that means exhausted for you un-British speaking people) I got to spend this past weekend at my sisters. And I had a blast! I took Friday afternoon off and hopped on a train to my sisters place. (her sweet husband took off early at work to pick me up from the train station) When I arrived at their place, she still had the daycare kids and her best friends kids. Holy Crap!! Do you know how loud 5 kids can get???? I sure didn't. They are all well behaved ... just loud. My sister, Kim, made dirt pudding for St. Paddy's Day dessert. That was pretty cool. Doesn't the name just sound cool? It's chocolate pudding with gummy worms in it and then crushed oreo for the topping. It made me feel like a kid again and I wanted to eat it with my hands. But I didn't think that would be very good example for the kids. (Maybe next time!) We just relaxed on Friday night. It feels really good to see my sister and hang out with her. Since I don't have a car ... I don't get to see her that often :( Saturday we headed off to Ottawa to do some shoe shopping. I never did find the shoes that I went looking for. Practical spring & fall shoes. However, I did find some gorgeous summer sandals! (I LOVE SHOES!!!) My favorite time was driving into Ottawa, singing along with the B-52's....Love Shack & Rock Lobster. There are few people I will sing in front of ... and my sister is one of them! It's great to feel comfortable enough to sing in front of someone WAAAY off key. But Kim was off key too...so it's all good! Somehow singing loudly and way off key with my sister and having the music blasting makes me feel alive and almost young again! Should that make sense? The music was loud enough that we didn't hear her husband calling on the cell. oops. oh, well.
Then we rented a couple of movies..BTW ... 'Skeleton Key' with Kate Hudson is a verra good movie. I beat my sister at the games we played...WOOT!! It was just a wonderful weekend! I usually don't get to spend time alone with my sister and have a 'sister's' weekend. Good fun! I hope to be able to do it again some time soon. I have the BEST sister in the world!

Is My Mother Psychic?

2006-03-16T12:28:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I was right down in the dumps and close to tears all day. Then my mom showed up at my work. She was in town for a doctors appointment. She popped into my workplace just to say hi. She also brought along a bouquet of absolutely gorgeous flowers. I almost started crying in front of my clients. When she was finished at the doctors she walked by a flower shop and decided to go in. There were some yellow roses that were calling my name. So she got them and added in some other flowers for effect. Just when I need a pick me up...my mom is there always doing something to make me smile and realize just how lucky I really am. My mom is the best!! Thanks mom! You always know what to do and when. I think God gave mothers ESP!

BTW thanks for calling me last night Kim!!

ONE MORE SLEEP!!!!

Shocking Headline

2006-03-16T09:06:00.000-05:00

I'm sure everyone knows who Milosevic is. Anyways I was reading the BBC news this morning. Apparently hundreds of supporters of Milosevic have turned out to greet his coffin and pay their last respects.

Say WHAT??????

This monster has supporters?? After the atrocities that this man is responsible for...I'm suprised people aren't lined up to spit on his coffin!!

I'm thankful at least that the Belgrade authorities rejected requests that this jerk's body lie in the federal parliament for public viewing.

Death was too kind for Milosevic, I think he deserved to spend the rest of his life rotting in jail!

Sexy Name Decoder

2006-03-10T14:08:00.000-05:00

I'm not a quitter but I wanna be!!

2006-03-03T12:41:00.000-05:00

So it's almost the end of week #2 in my long process of weight loss. I am so frustrated right now!! On Friday's all of the girls in the office order out for lunch. Do you know how frustrating it is to order in a healthy lunch?? Let me try to explain this. The more you weigh...the more points you get to use. I am allowed 28 points on the weight watchers program. All the seemingly healthy choices are not so healthy. I suppose a lot of people would think that a caesar salad would be healthier than an order of fries. Not so. The fries actually have less points believe it or not. The dressing in the ceasar salad is full of fat. I went through my list of take out restaurants and then had to figure out points for each of those bloody items. For example...a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's has 8 points....a small piece of pizza has 8 points...my chicken sante fe stromboli with ceasar salad from Boston Pizza .... a whopping 24 points. Does this mean that I have to forgo my friday lunches with the girls? Do I have to become a rabbit and live off of salad greens with icky low-fat dressing??

I'm not going to give up on losing weight, because I'm serious. But man...this sure is harder than I remember!!

I have to give mucho credit-oh to my brother-in-law-oh!! He's lost quite a bit of weight and has kept it off. Billy...uuur my heeeroh!!

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

2006-03-02T14:45:00.001-05:00

IT'S COMING TO DVD ON MARCH 7TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOOOOOHOOOOOO!!

I was going through Harry Potter withdrawal!

Meet my Wonderful Sister

2006-02-27T21:16:00.000-05:00

Let me introduce my sister, Kim. Sorry Gentlemen...she's a married woman. Quite the hottie isn't she?? I think she should frame this picture. My sister is an amazing woman. (Even when I want to strangle her) I am a very lucky girl to have her as a sister! I feel privledged to not only call her my sister, but one of my best friends. She's my mother hen, my confidante, my games weekend partner, she gets my sense of humour ... which is a miracle in itself. I just wanted to let the blogging world know how much I love my sister. I could not imagine not growing up with her. No matter what happens in life, I know I can count on her and she can always count on me.

Love ya sis!

.... thanks for not strangling me as a teenager!

Bull Fighting

2006-02-27T13:25:00.000-05:00

A client came in to pick up his ticket on Friday. While he was here, he was telling me some things he did on the last trip I booked for him. He went to a bull-fight. I have no problem with Bloodless bull fighting, because the animal is not harmed. I do however have a huge problem with the regular style of bull fighting. My client was telling me how they couldn't figure out how they made the bull so mad before he came charging out into the arena. Then they looked down into the holding area .... They stabbed the bull before he even went into the arena. I'd like to know what kind of sick people go to these fights???? People had brought their children! They left after the first fight because it was too violent. Helloooo???? Get a brain!! The thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. People pay money to see a living, breathing, feeling being get tortured and have a slow and painful death. That is sickening!!! I thought people are supposed to learn from history. Does anyone remember the Romans? Remember the coliseum? They had animal killings, animals raping adults & children, people killing people, etc .... all in the name of entertainment. The human race is very cruel. It's sad and very true. Can someone tell me what kind of person receives pleasure and entertainment out of cruelty? I can only think of sick and seriously demented people. Just like hunting for "fun". I understand hunting for food. But killing something because it's fun? But I guess that's another blog.

I KILLED KAKISTOS ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

2006-02-23T08:54:00.000-05:00

As my brother-in-law would say ...... WOOOOOOOOOT!

I finally killed the bugger in GameCubes Buffy ....... better known as Kakistos.

Yahoooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

Tagged by a meme (whatever that is..who made up that word?)

2006-02-21T12:44:00.000-05:00

I've been tagged by Nothing Heavy...

*Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot*

1. snickerdoodles
2. The Movie Monkey
3. Paisley Propaganda
4. Nothing Heavy
5. Balshy Brooklyn

What were you doing 10 years ago?

Holy crap, I can't remember what I was doing 5 years ago! So, to the best of my knowledge I would have been living in Canmore, Alberta. I was working at the local IGA and still living with my parents. Or maybe I was living in Ottawa with my sister and her fiancee and was about to move to Canmore. It was one or the other, either way...Canmore was involved.

What were you doing one year ago?

One year ago, I was lucky enought to have recently started my new job at a new Travel Agency. (my new boss is awesome!) I was still living in the hell hole that is also known as my apartment building. Still living with my best friend in the Kingston Hood. I was dreaming about buying a car and a home. So pretty much...absolutely nothing has changed.

Five snacks you enjoy:
1. nachos with cajun chicken, olives, green onions, cheese along with my homemade salsa fresca
2. chocolate...mmmmmmm precious chocolate
3. berries
4. cherrios snack mix
5. popcorn with flavorings (dill pickle is my favorite)

Five songs you know all the words to:
1. He's a Whore - Cheap Trick
2. L'il Devil - The Cult
3. Faith - George Michael
4. Hot Love - Cheap Trick
5. HighRoller - Cheap Trick
( Gee ... do you think I'm a Cheap Trick fan???)

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
(I'll pretend I'm a multimillionaire)
1. Get out of debt, and pay off my best friends debt and my parents debt and sister's debt
2. Buy a house for myself, best friend & parents
3. Quit my job and travel extensively
4. Adopt some children
5. Do some missionary work...go to refugee camps and help out or something similar
6. Buy myself a husband?

Five bad habits:
picking my nose...just kidding.
1. burping at work. (but in my defense, my boss does it too)
2. Speaking without thinking
3. procrastination
4. eating junk food
5. watching too much tv.

Five things you enjoy doing:
1. Throwing glass in the glass recycle bins. (ahhhhh, the sound of smashing glass)
2. Going to the movies
3. Playing games (board games, video games, etc.)
4. Playing catch with my best friend, while trying not to get whacked in the head with the ball!
5. Cuddling with my puppies

Five things you would never wear:
1. chastity belt
2. Pink
3. a tuxedo
4. thong bikini
5. socks with sandals .... that's just way too tacky

Five favorite toys(/games):
hmmmmm (I'll try to be polite)
1. Game cube
2. Pit (It's loud...just like me :P )
3. Mad Gab .....don peeeeeeek ur nohhhse
4. Clue
5. I also have a gun that blows bubbles with smoke in them. ( I haven't used it yet..but it sure sounds like fun!)

The Cold, Hard, Scarey Truth About Me

2006-02-21T12:26:00.000-05:00

I can't believe I'm writing this. But this blog is supposed to be all about me. So I'll tell you something that only...and I mean ONLY, my best friend knows. I am 29 (soon to be the big 3-oh) 5 ft 4 inches tall .... and no, that's not the secret. I currently weigh 235 pound. Holy crap, I can't I believe I'm admitting it! I also can't believe that I'm that fat! Yes, I let it happen and I only have myself to blame. So I made a vow to myself....this is the year that I am going to put my health and losing the weight as my top priority. Of course, I also say this only 3 days in. Ok, fine...2 days of eating healthy and 3 days of exercise. I have made many attempts at losing the weight. Only one was successful...but then the drinking & partying of a youth ... then the death of one of my best friends ... well let's just say I gained everything I lost and then some!!! That's no excuse. I'm not going to make any excuses anymore. I hate myself, I hate looking in the mirror and seeing what I've become. I avoid seeing my reflection in a window...I really hate how I look. I detest having my picture taken...I guess that's why I usually make funny faces. I'd rather have people laugh with/at me because I look like a goof, rather than look at me and the first thing they think is ..'look how fat she is'. Anyways, I'm sick of hearing myself whine about how fat & ugly I am. So it's time I get off my duff and do something about it. You may wonder why in the world am I writing this where anyone can see it??? I'm not quite sure myself, but I'm hoping that this will help me to be more accountable. I'm getting up at 5:30am to do aerobics and I'm following the weight watchers program (by myself, not at their meetings) and writing down what I eat in a journal. The journal I'm hoping will help me with..if I'm afraid to write it down...maybe I shouldn't eat it. Darn! I guess that leaves out finishing off a box of turtles. (just kidding...I've never done this....I thought about it, but I didn't do it!) I WILL do this, even if it takes a couple of years. So I will be posting some updates about my progress or lack of it. I am going to make myself accountable to you...my whole 3 fans! :P

Am I weird?

2006-02-15T14:23:00.000-05:00

Is it just me or does everybody get unbelievably horny at the most inappropriate times? At work ... church ... family gatherings ...

Aww, who am I kidding? I'm just a walking, talking, always tingly weirdo!

My newest addiction

2006-02-15T14:01:00.000-05:00

My best friend can tell you that I do NOT know how to relax. There is always something to do. Clean the house, do laundry, organize paperwork, etc. I can always manage to find something that needs to be done. Keri is always after me to relax. I usually do that maybe once every few months. So this past weekend I took her advice. My sister let me borrow her "buffy" video game for the gamecube. I actually borrowed that a month ago but just managed to play it this past Monday. I had company up on Sunday. My brother-in-laws birthday. We had fun playing some games. Including mad gab. dohn peeek ur nohse. That one was funny...Bill couldn't figure out why we were laughing so hard. Then of course we all played some Mario Kart. I actually managed to hold my own. I GOT 1ST PLACE ! ! ! ! ! Ok, so it was once out of 15 times, but I wouldn't have pulled that off just after Christmas. At Christmas I went nuts when I managed to not come in last. (which was like twice out of 20 times, I totally sucked) So this time I didn't totally bite. I need to practice a bit more so I won't be in the bottom 2 for the most part. After the family visit I was still pretty tired. So when I got up on Monday, I stayed in my jammies all day! It was my scrub day, and I played video games all day. I was such a bum, but it was great! I decided to try Buffy after a few hours of Mario Kart. I must say it was quite addictive. I played Buffy right up until bedtime. (Which might explain why I was dreaming of spiders & werewolves) I was quite upset when I went to save the game...I accidentally erased the whole game! I'm such a twit!!! So I played again on Tuesday and made up and then some on that game I erased. Woohoo!! I can't wait to go home and play more Buffy. Man, these video games are quite addictive. I'm beginning to be one of those game geeks! :)

Work crap.

2006-02-15T13:28:00.000-05:00

First of all, I hate writing. I guess I'm kind of lazy. But my sister is reminding me (or nagging, depending how you look at it) to write a blog because I haven't written in a month. I'm just plain exhausted. I feel like I could sleep for a week straight. Work will get a bit easier as of this Friday. The 2 big groups I have will be travelling this Friday. I pray nothing else will go wrong!!! Jumping into the middle of a file is not a good thing to do .... especially when the previous person is no longer with the company and has left little to no notes. So it's pretty much all guess work. It's Wednesday and I just got the last problem solved, they travel on Friday. YEAAAAHHHH!!!! People think it's a simple job...but not really. Airlines make major schedule changes on you or you have in writing that a tour is a certain date, but then the tour operator booked the wrong date and there is no availability left...etc. It's stressful because it's my butt that is on the line. People deal with me and not the tour operators or wholesalers. Which means that if anything goes wrong it's my fault .... even if it's not. Some people even get mad at me because their vacation isn't sunny the whole time. If I could control the weather, the temperature would not go below -10C here in sunny Canada. So anyways, I just got the last problem solved and I feel like I want to collapse from relief. I had to bend the truth to some travel operators/wholesalers .... but at least my clients will be happy! Because ultimately that's what matters. Ahhh, another day in the life of a travel agent. I think I need a drink.

My Thoughts on Gum

2006-01-19T13:29:00.000-05:00

I was just chewing some gum. And I know you are probably thinking....'why do I need to know this??". I don't care...if you are reading my blog, then you probably know I say whatever I feel like no matter how dumb or weird it may seem.

I was just chewing some Dentyne Peppermint Ice. Not the chiclet type but the regular stick gum. I am addicted to gum. If I don't have any available at my disposal, I go a bit nutty. I guess you could say I'm a gum connoisseur. The gum was way too soft. Gum should have some chew to it. It's made to make your jaw work. I don't mean bubblegum kind of work...but I don't want to feel like I have some funky jello in my mouth. I know that's a bad example but that's the first thing that came to mind.

Anyways...if a company is making gum...they should make sure to put enough gum base in it!

That's my thought for the day.

FORE FOR FOUR

2006-01-19T08:22:00.000-05:00

My sister tagged me to do this thing. I'd tag someone...but everyone else I know has been tagged. (I guess I don't know too many blog people) So here it goes:

Four jobs I've had:
1)Telemarketer (I only lasted one day....it was HORRIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
2)Cashier/Supervisor
3)Jewelry store (The boss was a sissy, I've got bigger balls then that twit)
4)Travel Agent (I've done corporate, groups and leisure)

Four Movies I could watch over & over:
I'm only allowed 4 though...even though I can think of some other ones. For people who don't just like the typical Hollywood films...you should check out 'Dear Frankie'. It's about the love a mother has for her child and what she will do to protect them. I thought it was a beautiful story, but I like European movies.
1) Transporter
2) Ever After
3) 50 First Dates
4) Der Kreiger Und Die Kaiserin (The Princess & the Warrior)

Four Places I've lived:
My response to this is...just 4????

1)Canmore, Alberta
2)Calgary, Alberta
3)Brighton, Ontario
4)Brockville, Ontario

Four TV shows I love or have to watch:

1)CSI (the Las Vegas one)
2)ER
3)Joey
4)Charmed

Four places I've been on Vacation:

1)Italy
2)Mexico
3)St. Lucia
4)Fort Frances (holy mosquitoes batman!!!!!!)

Four of my favorite foods:

1)Chocolate ( I think this should be a separate food group)
2)Eggplant Parmigana
3)Haggis...just kidding(I don't eat red meat)
3)Cambodian/Thai red & green curry
4)Authentic Italian Pizza
4 1/2) Gelato ...does that count??

Four places I'd rather be right now:

1)Is it a windy day in the highlands?? If so, I'd say the Scottish Highlands
2)Relaxing by the pool in Mexico or Cuba with a Pina Colada in my hand
3)Egypt
4)At home lazing around. (but I know that wouldn't happen...I'd probably end up cleaning.)
Since number 4 is so highly unlikely ...
5)Kyoto..at the indoor water park learning to surf.

Four sites I visit daily:

1)nothingheavy.blogspot.com (Kim's blog)
2)obsidiantempest.blogspot.com (Kim & Bills ..all about marriage blog)
3)itv coronation (That's the only soap I watch..but Canada is months behind..I need updates)
4)News sites Canoe/CBS/BBC

My Brother-in-law

2006-01-18T08:39:00.000-05:00

My brother-in-laws name is Bill. He's an okay guy...I guess. ;) Talking about a car made me think of a certain situation. For my sister's birthday 2 years ago...he got to play the hero. My parents went out to Alberta for a vacation, and lent me their car. Not thinking about living in 'heights', I went to sleep the night before and had a nice, restful sleep. When I got up, I got together all the things for my sister's birthday party. The decorations, plates/napkins, games, snacks, etc. I was very excited, I couldn't wait to see my sister on her big 30th birthday! Keri was almost ready, so I started to take things down to the car. I went out to our parking spot, and there was a nice silver Tiburon. That sounds nice...but my parents own a black neon. I thought maybe I was on crack and had parked somewhere else. So I walked around the parking lot...once...twice...three times. WHERE'S THE CAR?????!!!!!!!!!!!! THE TIBURON ATE MY PARENTS' CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I ran upstairs and grabbed Keri. "Keri, where did I park the car"? So she came down with me...it was official. That bloody Tiburon ate my parents car!! I was hysterical. I started balling. "what am i going to do??? My parents left me their car and it got stolen"! some more crying. I had to call the police. They probably thought someone had just got whacked with the way I was crying. But I couldn't finalize the report without my parents...they needed information from them because they are the actual car owners. So I called my sister...I was so upset about missing her birthday, I had been looking forward to going for months! So after my sister, I had to call my parents and let them know. I couldn't rent a car, there was nothing left...plus I didn't have the extra cash to burn. Plus my drivers licence was in the stolen vehicle. Kim called me back. (Kim is my sister) She said, that Bill had just left to pick me up. That he didn't want me to have to miss my sister's birthday. I think he also wanted to score some of those 'brownie' points that I always hear guys talking about. That was so incredibly sweet of him. Their house is almost 1 1/2 hours away, per direction. He drove all that way. What a sweetie. And on our way to their house he gave us a narrated drive through part of the rocky and beautiful Canadian shield. That almost made up for the time when we first met and he farted at me. I'll never forget that! It was in the middle of the women's section in the Zellers of Belleville Quinte Mall. I'm glad it wasn't smelly. (See...I have a good memory!)
He's been like a real brother ever since.

I don't always say it...but I really appreciate having such a cool brother-in-law. (Except for when he blames the cucumber peelings in the sink on me.)

Come to think about it ... my parents have never lent me their car again since then. Gee, I wonder why?

Loans

2006-01-18T08:26:00.000-05:00

Why is it that the people who need loans, don't qualify for them?? At a maximum you can take a loan out for 35% of your annual income. But when your income is bupkis, then there really isn't a point of a loan. For example if you only make 25,000/year then you can take out a loan to a maximum of $8,750. I called my bank hoping to consolidate my credit cards and get some money to buy a used vehicle. Needless to say, I didn't qualify. Being low income...REALLY SUCKS!!!! I can handle living in the 'hood'. But I'm 29 1/2 and I still don't have a car. AARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! I know my family doesn't mind, but I do. They are really sweet and if there is a family gathering then they'll pick me up. (My parents are the closest at 45 minutes away) It just makes me feel like a kid. I want to feel like an adult....minus the 'acting mature' thing. My sister thinks that maybe I'll be able to get a car next year...I think..I probably still won't be talented enough to pull money out of my arse. I wanted to check out the loan because my investment person at the bank called me. During the conversation we somehow came upon the subject of home ownership. There is this deal with Scotiabank where you only have to have 1.5% of the closing costs for a house and loan the rest to you. I was all excited about that. Then I realized that .... if I can't get a loan for car/debt consolidation then there is NO way that I'll be able to get a mortgage. Oh well. Maybe I'll own a car before I'm 40. Or maybe I should just go rob a bank. (kidding) I read on one of the news websites that the average Canadian goes through $100, every 2-3 days. Holy crap! What do they do for a living? Is it legit? I think I got into the wrong business. Starting up my own money counterfeiting business sounds like a great idea! Does anyone know where I can get the equipment?

SIlly Putty

2006-01-16T08:58:00.000-05:00

I bought some silly putty for my best friend for Christmas. It's a rule that your stocking has to have at least 1 fun thing in it. But this wasn't just any silly putty. This silly putty turns a different color with heat activation. It's pretty cool. So I was at the computer last night, playing with the silly putty. Which isn't very easy to change colors when you are cold to begin with. (It was -25 yesterday with windchill .... ouch!) Kiya (my little girl chihuahua) licked the silly putty. Then she seemed to ponder for half a second before she tried licking it again and again and again. So it got me to thinking...does it have a pleasant scent? I took a whiff of it ... it doesn't smell like anything. So I licked it. Just a little lick. It doesn't taste like anything. I'm beginning to think my dog is on crack. My sister would probably agree. Have you ever known another dog who goes absolutely insane about brussel sprouts in butter sauce? Kiya is about as crazy over those brussel sprouts as a woman would be about chocolate if she hadn't had any in 6 months! She loves the vegetables. You can't convince Anubis to eat vegetables. If I try to give him a vegetable he looks at me as if I'm trying to poison him. Weird dogs! Cute, but weird.